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Her eyes were more brown than green as they looked directly into mine. I wondered if she knew how they changed colors to reflect her mood. "I'm sorry for accusing you of betraying me earlier. You’ve proven yourself over and over again, and I still..."
"It's okay."
She shook her head. “No, it’s not. You trusted me when you had multiple reasons to be careful. You’ve given me every reason to trust you, but I still jumped to the worst conclusion.”
“We sort of made it easy for you to jump there, didn’t we? I promise, it had nothing to do with you, and I’ll tell you in a minute. But first, I need you to understand I’m not going anywhere just because of your past, or because of anything happening now, okay?”
“Okay.” Her shy smile was back, which begged for another kiss.
I loved how eagerly she responded, how her breasts felt as they crushed against me, and how I loved her nails scratching along my scalp as she held my head to hers. Her fingers flexed as I slid my mouth across her neck, darting my tongue to lick her warm skin where her pulse raced.
“Holt,” her voiced trembled as I nipped her earlobe. I couldn’t stop my hands from sliding under her sweater to touch her warm skin. When I reached her bra strap, I hesitated, unsure how far she’d let me go. Claire and I had been each other’s firsts, so we were on the same page at the same time. But that had been years ago, and Maddy’s life experiences had been completely different. But when she moaned and dropped her head backward, thrusting her chest forward, it felt natural to slide my thumb across the satiny material.
“You taste so sweet,” I murmured against her skin as her hips rotated gently on my lap. I was painfully hard, and later I would question where the strength came from to pull back, but I somehow managed to remove my mouth and leaned my forehead against hers, both of us trying to catch our ragged breath.
“Wow,” she sighed. I could feel her breasts rising and falling against my chest.
“I didn’t want to stop,” I admitted, my voice more gravelly than usual. “But this is new to us, and I don’t want to rush you.”
She lifted her head, and her eyes blinked a few times as if coming out of a daze. “You’re probably right.”
I smiled at the disappointment I heard in her voice. “Make no mistake, Madelyn. I want you, and it’s going to happen soon. But I’m not going to rush us because tomorrow is just as much ours as today.”
Her eyes sparkled. “Oh, you’re a modern day Robert Burns, aren’t you?”
“You know Burns?” I loved how smart and well read she was.
“Part of English lit. I thought you might be with your Scottish heritage.”
“Aye, lass,” I said, making her laugh with my exaggerated brogue. My mother had worked hard to lose her accent, but when she was riled up, it came out in full force, so Carol, Cal, and I were very familiar with it.
We continued to cuddle on the couch in silence for a few minutes, each lost in our thoughts.
Finally, Maddy spoke up. “Holt, what did happen today?”
I cleared my throat, hating to be dragged back from a happy moment, but she deserved to know. So, for the third time that day, I found myself sharing my secret. Each time was easier in the telling, but it also brought a fresh wave of pain.
I felt her sniffle, and she sat up with tears streaming down her face. “Oh, Holt. I’m such a bitch. Your family was trying to handle your painful news, and I thought it was all about me. I’m so sorry for that. And I’m so sorry you felt you had to keep that news to yourself. I’m glad you finally told everyone. It isn’t good to keep things bottled up.”
He tapped me on the nose. "I think this is where I call you 'pot' and me 'kettle.'"
“Why do you think they kept staring at me so strangely?”
Leaning back against the arm of the couch and pulling me with him, he shook his head. “I’m not positive, but if I had to guess, they all felt like they each had a partner to lean on, and they’re probably hoping you’ll fill that role for me. They’ve been on my back to move on lately.”
“And why would they think that? I mean, we even got into
an argument the first time I was there, and we hardly spoke to each other today.”
I smiled faintly. “They think because it surprised them that there was a first time, and it was clinched when there was a second time. I’ve never brought a woman home since, well…”
“Since Claire. You can say her name, Holt. But it isn’t like we were dating and you brought me home to meet your parents. I was only there because your mom invited me.”
“And that’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart. Yes, my mom invited you, but my family knows me well enough to know that I don’t do anything I don’t want to, except,” I chuckled, “family dinners. But you were there because I wanted you to be.”
She started to snicker, but it quickly evolved into a yawn which she tried to cover with her hand. I glanced at the clock. It was well after midnight, and I could see dark circles under her eyes.
“I’d say it’s been a pretty emotional twenty-four hours. Tomorrow will be a better day. Let’s say we get some sleep?”
