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“Duh! Of course I do!” Maddy grinned at her, and off they went, holding hands. Maddy threw a happy grin over her shoulder at me. I was so proud of her. It was a difficult situation, but I knew it would all work out.
By the time we left, Maddy had turne
d into a magpie, talking non-stop about how beautiful, how smart, how everything Lily was. I listened in amusement until Maddy finally ran out of words. I didn’t disagree with anything she said, there just wasn’t a lot of room to insert a comment outside of ‘mmmhmm’ and ‘you’re right’; Lily really was a sweetheart and a credit to the young woman who’d turned her life around after Maddy’s sacrifice had given her a new chance.
The only time Maddy stopped smiling was when she pulled out an envelope after we got home. I recognized the handwriting immediately.
“Do you want some privacy?” I asked.
Her face grew grim as she looked at me. “Holt, I know you had to overlook a lot of my flaws to become part of my life. You’ve stood by me, taken me in, and loved me. You’ve given me more than anyone in my entire life has.” Her gaze dropped to the floor, and my heart skipped a beat, sensing I wasn’t going to like what she said next.
“I know the past few days have been crazy, and my life is getting ready to take another major change if I take custody of Lily, if I’m even allowed.” She shook her head sadly. “I don’t know what this letter is going to say, if it will make things possibly even worse. I want you to know, I won’t blame you if this is too much for you.” I tried to interrupt, to stop her from thinking too much about the situation, but she kept on going. “You’ve already been hurt because of me, because of the drama that I’m involved in, even if I didn’t want to be. Now it would be asking you to take on another person. I don’t want to lose you, but I also know I can’t lose Lily.”
I took the envelope out of her hands and tugged on her hands until she stood in front of me. “Are you done yet?”
She stared miserably at me. “I don’t know. I want to list all the reasons to convince you to stay, but I don’t want to pressure you. I’m a lot to take on.”
“Then how about you let me list the reasons for you?”
She didn’t say anything, so I continued. “Madelyn, you came into my life when I was least expecting it, in the least expected way. At first, I resented that John made me give up half a day’s work to send me to meet you. I had better things to do, more work to get done. Now he’s one of two people I owe a debt I can never repay. From the very beginning, I knew you were different. I had my life all mapped out and organized. I thought I knew who I was and what my role in life was. And then you showed up and veered me off course. You didn’t fit into any of my nice little compartments I had for women. You blew the boundaries up. And now I get what makes you so special. I don’t want to fit you into my life. You are my life. You’re everywhere and everything to me.”
She gave me a watery smile and mouthed, “I love you, too.”
“You said once you weren’t like Claire,” I continued. “That’s a good thing, sweetheart. I’m not looking for a replacement for her. I’ll always love her in some way, but you’re my life now. I didn’t bury my heart five years ago. It just took that long to find the right person to make it beat again. You set my heart free.” I glanced at the letter. “So no matter what that holds, I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Madelyn Grace Stone. I think you should move in with me permanently. Let’s create a home together. And then, when the time is right, Lily can come live with us.”
Those green and brown eyes gazed at me in wonder, and in them I could see all the worry and doubt fade as love rushed in to replace them. “You would be willing to take on Lily, too? Even though she’s not yours? Or mine?”
“I told you once, Madelyn, all children should be celebrated. I’ll fill whatever role is needed in her life. She’s a delightful little girl. And whether she’s a part of me or not doesn’t matter. Nothing in that envelope changes that, okay?”
She shook her head while tears spilled down her cheeks. “Holten Andrews, you are absolutely the most amazing man.”
I squeezed her tight. “What, no funny grannyism for this moment?” I teased.
She nodded. “How about, ‘I love you?’ Seems the most appropriate. Sometimes something simple says it all, and I do, Holt. I love you more than I ever knew was possible.”
That was one expression I understood without explanation, and it was one I was going to repeat to her every day for the rest of our lives.
41
Charly
Dearest Maddy,
This is the most difficult letter I’ve ever written. They are the words I should have said to you so long ago, words I should be saying in person. But I’m not sure when or if I’ll ever have that opportunity. I don’t know if you’ll ever talk to me again, and of course, I can’t blame you for feeling that way.
I love you, Maddy. I always have. We both know life was hard for us growing up. While you worked hard to make the best of it, I used it as an excuse for bad decisions. Once dad left, I did feel resentment toward you. Not only had I lost a mother when you were born, but I lost my dad, too. I’m not proud of that. It wasn’t your fault. Dad was weak, but in my mind it was love that made him that way. I decided then and there that I’d never love anybody. In some twisted way, I thought it would save me from being hurt. Shows what I know.
At first, I was excited for you when you earned the scholarship Paul Regis dangled in front of you. You deserved it. But I wanted my own meal ticket and since I didn’t have your book smarts, I used what I did have - my looks and my body. I seduced Paul. It wasn’t hard. He told me he and his wife were separated and had filed for divorce. He swore he loved me, and he promised he was going to take me away and we’d get married.
He convinced me we should set up a bank account that wasn’t directly in his name or social security number so that his wife wouldn’t be able to claim it in the divorce settlement. He suggested we use your information; that way he could make sure your scholarship money was immediately accessible for whatever you needed. So that’s what we did. It sounds so naïve, so dumb writing this now. I didn’t understand how scholarships worked, and Paul made sure we had the right paperwork to do things in your name. I don’t know if he forged your name or included it in so much of the ‘scholarship paperwork’ he made you sign.
One day, he left his phone while he went to the bathroom. A text came through, and so I read it. It turned out it was from his wife, asking him to bring some milk home for their girls. I knew then everything he’d told me had been a lie. I started doing some sneaking around. I called his work and asked about the scholarship. They’d never heard of it. I played up the dumb, doting girlfriend, trying to figure out what he was really up to. He always seemed to be taking calls about work, always talking about some kind of trees from Russia and Mongolia. I never quite figured it out, but I suspect he was embezzling money from work and was using you to hide it.
And then I found out I was pregnant. I honestly wasn’t sure if it was his baby, but he was the most financially stable of any of the possibilities. I thought it would be the ticket to make him finally leave his wife. But when I told him, he laughed at me and said he didn’t want another brat, especially one from a whore of a mom. He wanted me to ‘get rid of it.’ Maddy, I couldn’t do it. I knew what it was like to be a child to grow up without a mother. I wasn’t going to also be the woman who lived without her child. So I refused. I told him he could use the money in our account to support the baby and me. He grabbed me and said if I wouldn’t take care of it he would, that he’d beat it out of me. I cried, I begged, and I pleaded. He didn’t listen, so I told him I knew he hadn’t left his wife, and wouldn’t she like to know about the money he was hiding from her.
He got so mad. He tied my hands, and I was so scared, Maddy. He told me not only would he get rid of the kid, but he’d make sure I couldn’t run my mouth. He was mumbling something about how they’d kill him if they knew what he’d done that no one could know about that account. He laughed about how easily he’d been able to use the Stone sisters to get everything he wanted. He threw me on the bed and smacked my face and even hit me in the stomach. I’ve never been so scared.
That’s when you walked in, Maddy. You know the rest of what happened. What you didn’t know was that you saved two lives that day. I honestly thought you wouldn’t go to jail. I thought they’d look at your record and know what a good and honest person you were. I didn’t know that Paul’s wife knew about the affair the whole time and that she’d be able to paint you as her husband’s lover. My only thought was to hide and protect my baby from whatever mess Paul had gotten himself into. I was afraid whoever ‘they’ were would come after me. So I had my and Paul’s name removed from the account and left it in just yours. I’d hoped that no one would ever think to look for the money if it was just in your name. However, I still had access to it if I forged your name on checks or the debit card we had. I’m so sorry, Maddy. I was trying to find a way out of it. But sometimes I fell on hard times, and I thought Paul owed me that money anyway, so I spent some of it when I needed to.
