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From the window in my loft I could see Christmas lights popping up all over the damn city. The holidays meant playoff season to me. Growing up, it had meant waking up to a cold house with a few shitty gifts under the tree.
My mom did her best. I knew she did, but it didn’t make the holidays any sweeter. Instead they were hell. She’d cry all damn day. I didn’t know if it was because she missed my dad. Looking back, it was probably because she was alone. Alone with me.
While she sank into her grief I was left to figure out mine. But what did a kid know about how to deal with feelings? I didn’t get why I hated the holidays until I was old enough to know they were shitty because I had always spent them miserable instead of happy. My world was wrecked because the adults in my life couldn’t get their shit together.
Hell if I was going to let that cycle continue.
I didn’t know why in the fuck I was even considering this, but I knew I had to do it. I had to at least try. I couldn’t let shit like this keep happening. Not to another kid.
I had thirty minutes before Julie would arrive. I pulled out my phone and hit Savannah’s number.
“Babe, big day tomorrow,” she answered.
“Yeah. Yeah, it is,” I replied. “Look, I need you to do something for me.”
“Aww, shit. Did you get arrested again?”
I shook my head. “No. Fuck no. It’s bigger than that.”
“Huh. Ok, go ahead.”
I took a deep breath. I’d be damned if I let that kid have a shitty life. “I want to adopt a kid.”
“Holy shit,” she blurted out. “Sorry.”
“It’s one of the kids at the school. Hunter Evans. He’s been bounced around from foster home to foster home. He needs a place, you know? Can you look into it? See what I need to do to get him here.”
“You’re serious? The night before playoffs and you want to talk about daddy daycare shit, Hawk?”
“Damn it, Savi. I’ve never been more fucking serious. Can you do this for me or not? I could use your help.”
She sighed. “Do you have any idea what you’re getting into? Legal red tape. Guardianship. Supervised visits. Court appearances. My sister and her husband went through this process. It took two years. I watched them go through the most emotional roller coaster of their lives. It’s not going to be easy, Hawk. I just need to know you’re in this for the long haul before you go down this road.”
I rubbed the back of my head. I knew it was going to be hell. If it wasn’t, the kid would have had a home by now
. A real family. Instead, here I was—the last mother fucker on the planet who should be trying to take on the role of parent.
“I know. I don’t care. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll pay whatever it costs. Just figure out the details for me.”
“I can do that for you. Can you give me a week?”
“Yeah. I’ve kind of got a big fucking game tomorrow.”
She laughed. “I’ll be there.”
“Oh, that reminds me. I need box passes.”
“For Pops again?”
Shit. I should have included him. I’d get her to call him and extend a third ticket. “Yeah, call Pops for me and ask him. But the other two are for Julie Bristow and for the boy Hunter.”
“Ahh, I see what’s happening.” She had that tisk-tisk sound in her voice.
“You don’t see shit, Savi. Just get the tix.”
“You’re playing house. I knew it. You fell for the teacher chick and now you want the kid. Presto family.”
I rolled my eyes. It was a good thing Savannah was a chick or I’d deck her for saying shit like this to me. “She’s in my life. He’s in my life. Get them tickets,” I growled.
