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“I should say I am,” he said with a laugh, exchanging nods with some of the other men around him.
“I think Bruin understates my contributions,” Rhett said in a half-joking tone, and there was a laugh around the table, “but I’ll let him have this one.”
“If you ask me,” one of my colleagues next to me said, nodding toward the door out of our private room, “that waitress would let you have her, too.”
There were some laughs and nods of agreement around the table, and I smiled politely, rolling my eyes while I took a bite of the sushi.
“Leave her a tip, and she’ll come back for more,” another said.
“Come on, where’s the hot-blooded Bruin I know?” Rhett said.
“I’m catching a redeye flight,” I lied, giving Rhett a meaningful glance, and he quirked an eyebrow for a moment, but he caught on.
The waitress returned and started serving drinks. Rhett said something flirtatiously to her while the other men took a moment to enjoy their drinks and eat in the break in conversation, but I couldn’t focus on any of that.
Truth be told, I was surprised I’d been able to focus on this dinner at all. I was still rocking it, but it took a lot more willpower than usual.
These were my regular hunting grounds. I could charm anyone, seal any deal, no matter whether the businesspeople were men or women, foreign or local, friendly or hostile. It was the kind of environment I thrived in, and I got energized by it all.
So, why did this feel like an uphill slog that I couldn’t wait to end?
I knew why, of course. Ever since Jillian had left for Atlanta I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Every night that I laid down, all I could think about was how I wanted Jillian there at my side. I wanted to turn her over and fuck her sweet and hard all at the same time until the two of us were panting at each other’s sides, drifting off into sleep with our energy spent on each other. And when I woke up, I wanted to see Jillian’s face next to mine, those gorgeous green eyes fluttering open sleepily before I took her out to brunch at whatever place became her favorite.
I wanted to see her playing with Emma, to take them all on vacations down to Cozumel, St. Martin, Costa Rica, anywhere they wanted. I wanted us to do it together, too.
I had to face the facts. Jillian had changed me, in a major way. None of that would have been on my mind a few weeks ago. Well, except the sex, but that was only getting better over time.
When I stood in the master bedroom’s shower, steam rolling down my muscled shoulders, I still couldn’t believe that shy, awkward Jilly had become the woman that I—
I stopped myself short at the thought of the word that was at the front of my mind. The L-word.
“Bruin?” a voice called to me, and I gave my head a shake, snapping out of my trance.
One of my friends was looking at me with a puzzled look. “You all right, pal? Wanted to know if you wanted another sake.”
“Please,” I answered with a nod, smiling at the waitress, who was waiting patiently beside my friend. She gave an overly-bright smile and hurried off.
She was short and slim, with jet-black hair and a face that men would kill for. She couldn’t have been older than twenty-one, and she had a smile that could light up the room.
And I felt nothing for her.
The old me would have been all over her, giving her the night of her life and something to talk about for the next few months, something to make other men seem inadequate by comparison. But Jillian had changed all that, and I knew it.
And every time I thought about that, it took me out of the present.
I pulled myself together and passed the rest of the dinner as well as ever. I chatted about hunting a little more with Mr. Tanaka, reminisced about our soccer days with Rhett, and built rapport like the expert I was. As long as I could keep my mind off Jillian, I had complete control over every word that was said at the dinner, even when some of the lightweights at the table started to feel the one-too-many sakes that were going around.
When the dinner finally wound down, I had the bill put on my card and exchanged a lot of handshakes and a lot of bows with the businessmen as we headed outside into the cool evening air. Rhett hung back, presumably to chat up the waitress. Some of the men were wobbly already, and they got into cabs and headed their separate ways after many promises of more lunches and dinners, more meetings, and some promising prospects for a business deal in the near future. As usual, they were interested in purchasing some of the software we were developing as part of the empire I’d been building over the past few years.
As well-padded as my finances were, I knew I had to get my head out of this funk, or business would start to suffer.
When most of the men were gone, I started to head around the building for a quick walk to clear my head, but I felt a clap on my shoulder.
I turned my head to see Rhett standing there, an eyebrow raised at me.
“Rhett? Where’s your squeeze?” I asked.
“What I wanted to know is why she’s not all over you in the back of a cab,” he said with a concerned tone. “She was practically throwing herself at you, man. What’s up?”
