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Chase was off in Chicago, at his beautiful modern penthouse, probably surrounded by his friends and family. City life suited him. There was always so much going on, parties and galas and fancy meetings. He could command a room without a word, his presence powerful and charismatic enough on its own. I had no doubt that he was enjoying his time there. He loved his work and he was not afraid to let it consume him if it meant he would get a great deal out of it. I sighed, thinking about how I used to be the same way. But lately it was like pulling teeth trying to drag myself out of bed and into work. It wasn’t like I even had a commute. I literally lived inside my own job. But I could hardly bring myself to talk to my employees, to confer with the construction crews and foremen and contractors who were all hired to revamp the Peppertree according to my plans, my dream.
I used to think that all I needed in this life, all I desired, was to have control over the resort again. To bring it back to life and restore it to former glory. I daydreamed about it all the time, how I would turn things around, how the joy of resurrecting my father’s legacy would be enough to make me truly happy. I knew now that I was wrong all that time. I needed more than the Peppertree to be content. I needed love, and not just from anyone. I needed Chase.
Perhaps I was just a fool, to let myself have feelings for him again. After all, wasn’t one heartbreak enough? Why was I so eager to hand him my heart only to have him shatter it again? There had been all those moments when we were together, when I thought for certain he felt the same way I did. But it was wishful thinking, I was sure of it now. Why would a man like Chase Hawthorne ever truly want me? In my current sadness, I was convincing myself that this was all out of some obligation. Maybe he still felt badly about breaking my heart in college, and he didn’t want to steal the Peppertree from me, too. It was just to ease his own guilt. It was all about the art of the business transaction, wasn’t it?
I stood up and paced back and forth in my suite, gritting my teeth to keep from crying. I thought about Olivia, that stunningly beautiful blonde woman who had confronted me in the bathroom at our reception party. When I compared myself to her, it didn’t make sense why Chase would ever really choose me over her. She was basically a supermodel. She was a city girl, clearly, with her high-heeled thigh-high boots and her skintight dress. I was just some lonely country girl who lived in a failing resort on top of a lonely mountain. I was nothing like her, nothing like Chase. We were from two different worlds. How could we ever reconcile those differences? Besides, I knew he was only in this for one real reason: to produce an heir.
It still made no sense to me why he would choose me as the mother, when a woman like Olivia existed. Maybe, I told myself, she wasn’t interested in carrying a child. Maybe he just wanted to use me for my body, to produce a baby, only to hand over that child to his true life partner, Olivia. That thought made my heart ache so painfully that I had to sit down on the edge of my bed.
“Oh God, I am so stupid,” I lamented, cradling my head in my hands.
I had told myself not to fall for him, not to let my feelings get in the way of our business deal. I reminded myself of the facts. This was only meant to be a year-long, pretend marriage. I was only in this for the Peppertree. Chase was only in this to ease his guilt and to gain an heir. It was basically an arranged marriage, wasn’t it? I groaned, shaking my head sadly.
He had been so subdued on the phone lately. The text messages had dwindled down to only a few during the day, whereas before we had been talking so constantly that I had to charge my phone repeatedly over the course of my day. Perhaps he was just trying to wind me down, put the brakes on our relationship to remind me how it was supposed to be. We had gotten ahead of ourselves, let the drama and fantasy carry us away. Or at least, I had. Chase was cool and collected, as usual. I was certain he had only played along with my emotions because he was hesitant about hurting my feelings yet again.
“I drove him right into this, didn’t I?” I asked aloud. “I told myself I wouldn’t fall for him. Not again. And here I am, unable to sleep or work or even think without Chase crossing my mind. I hate this. I’m such an idiot.”
Was I really so starved for love and attention that I had tricked myself into believing that Chase really cared for me? Had I blinded myself to the reality of our situation? Had I really let my feelings override my logic, my work ethic, my dedication to the Peppertree? It certainly seemed that way, and I didn’t know how the hell to reverse it. How was I supposed to struggle through the rest of this year, knowing that I had played myself like a fool, fallen in love with a man who only wanted me for my womb? I was a businesswoman. I knew how this stuff was supposed to work. Don’t get attached. Don’t put someone else’s needs above your own. Keep your eye on the prize. And in this case, the prize was getting to go back to the way things were. To walk away from Chase at the end of this year and go back to running the resort, pouring my heart and soul into my late father’s dream while I let my own dreams die.
And that was the best case scenario. After that showdown with Olivia in the bathroom I had even more to worry about. As awful and cruel as she was, she seemed to know a lot about Chase, to have a history with him. Judging from how effortlessly mean she was to me, a complete stranger, I had no reason to believe her feelings for Chase would be enough to keep her from ruining this whole business deal to get back at him. She didn’t love him-- she wanted to spite him. And me. I had no doubt about her determination to do so. Women like her were cunning, with boundless energy for their evil deeds.
Then I wondered to myself how Chase could have ever been with a woman like that. Sure, she was incredibly beautiful, the kind of femme fatale I could picture escorting Chase to all his high-class galas and gallery openings in the big city.
She looked every bit the part. But her personality was so foul, so cruel, that it seemed to contradict everything I knew about Chase to imagine them even getting along, much less being in love.
“Maybe I don’t know him as well as I thought I did,” I mumbled to myself. “Maybe my image of Chase isn’t the reality. I’m casting my own dreams on him instead of seeing him for who he really is.”
But that just didn’t seem possible. I remembered our moments together, when we were pressed close together, wrapped in each other’s arms like we were the only two people in the entire universe. Like we were meant to be, tied together by fate or destiny or whatever I could fool myself into believing. Chase was never cruel, even though he could be tough when he needed to be. Unless he had just kept that side of him hidden from me all along.
“No. That’s not possible. Chase is a good man,” I argued with myself. I looked across the room and caught sight of myself in the mirror. The light outside was fading, the evening growing later and darker. My face looked pale and tired. I hadn’t been sleeping well, not without Chase sleeping next to me. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was close to ten o’clock.
“I need a drink,” I told myself. I got up, put on a heavier coat, and headed downstairs to the bar. I ordered a whiskey sour and took a seat at the same table where I had first seen Chase sitting that fateful evening when he sauntered back into my life. I nursed my drink, drowning in sadness and despair, wishing that some sign would come to me and show me that things would be alright again someday. I spent hours sitting there, downing drink after drink, until I was nearly half-asleep and no happier than before. The bar was empty by now, the bartenders gone home already, leaving me to sit in the near-darkness, wallowing in my sorrows.
Until I saw a tall, broad shadow lumbering into the moonlight shining through the massive window. I squinted, thinking my boze-fuzzy mind was playing tricks on me. But then my heart skipped a beat. The figure came closer, and the moonlight illuminated his face. It was Chase. Standing there in a heavy coat and boots, a slouchy beanie pulled over his hair and snowflakes clinging to him all over, as though he’d been trudging through the snow for hours. I could see he was ever so slightly shivering, and I stood up, almost too shocked to speak. This had to be a dream.
“Chase?” I murmured.
27
Chase
I pointed to the shocked serving staff members with a finger that was still numb from the cold. “Out,” I ordered. My tone wasn’t cruel, but it was firm.
Everyone looked at each other in shock, not moving.
“Did you all forget I’m the co-owner of this place? Everyone out!” At the sound of my sharp bark, the staff hustled and set down whatever they were doing to clear out from the restaurant, and as soon as the last of them was out the door, I locked it behind me and turned to face a petrified Haley, who was gaping at me from the corner booth.
“That’s more like it,” I growled, crossing the room toward her.
“Oh...my God, where did you…? How did you?”
“I drove,” I dismissed, stripping off my jacket and tossing it to the floor carelessly as the feeling started to come back to my face.
“Are you joking?” She looked stunned. “It’s too dangerous. You could have died.”
“I didn’t.”
“What?” she gasped. “Chase, you know how that’s how my father—”
