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I stepped closer, my heart pounding. “I know. It felt the same way for me. Like we were meant to do this. Like we were made for each other. Uh, sexually, I mean,” I added quickly.
Bruin smiled, and there was that softness again in his eyes. But only for a flickering moment. He nodded. “Yes. Sexually. So, what have you got planned for when you get back? Going straight to meet up with your brother and tell him you sealed the deal?”
I blushed, misunderstanding what he meant at first. He seemed to catch on.
“I mean that literally. As in, he’s getting Mirabella,” he explained. I nodded.
“Yeah, yeah. I know what you mean. Of course,” I said hastily. “I’m sure he’s probably worried sick about me. He calls me almost every day.”
“Same protective older brother, isn’t he?” questioned Bruin, a little sadly.
“Yep. I think after Mom and Dad died he took it upon himself to be my guardian. I was already a teenager by then, but he stepped up anyway,” I remarked. “He’s been looking after me ever since. Sometimes it gets a little annoying, but I know he means well.”
Bruin nodded, a faraway look on his face. “Even before your folks passed, he was like that. I remember if I so much as mentioned your name, he’d get this fire in his eyes. Like he was ready to punch me in the face,” he said.
“Oh. I never knew it was like that,” I murmured.
Wow. How long had Jeff been shielding me from Bruin? Was it more than just the regular brotherly instinct? Why was he so aggressive about Bruin, in particular?
“He’s a good brother, Jill. Now that I’m a father, I get it. He wants to protect you from everything. From the whole world. Especially from guys like me,” he added, shrugging.
“What do you mean? Guys like you?” I asked, frowning. “You’re a great guy.”
Bruin chuckled. “You’ve seen a side of me most people never even glimpse.”
“But it’s the true part of you, right? The real Bruin Kincaid is a sweetheart. You’re not the guy Jeff made you out to be,” I commented. For some reason, this seemed to bother him. He pulled away.
“All of this, all of me, is the real deal. I’m authentic all the way, baby,” he said, a warning tone in his voice. I backed off a little.
“Yeah. No, I get it,” I said quickly.
“No. You don’t,” he said, gritting his teeth. “Look, I need to go talk to Miguel about the plans when we reach port. I’ll be busy for the next hour or so.”
“Oh. Okay,” I murmured, confused. Why was he acting this way? Hot one minute and cold the next? What did I do wrong?
“Listen, Jillian. You may think you know me, but you don’t,” he began. His tone was less cruel, more matter-of-fact. “Nobody knows me. You can’t just sum me up in a couple of adjectives. I’m more than that. This week was fucking amazing, but it was just part of the bargain. You held up your end, now it’s time for me to do the same. It was great seeing you again, but that’s it. Okay?”
I had to bite my lip to stop the tears prickling in my eyes. I’d be damned if I let Bruin Kincaid, or whoever the hell he was, see me cry over him. Screw that. My feelings for him had to stop here. Sure, my affection for him was years in the making, but I was putting them to bed. I had to. He didn’t want me. That much was clear. Or at least, if he did, he was denying it even to himself. And I, Jillian Hargrove, businesswoman and bad-ass, was not about to beg him.
“Fine,” I said firmly.
“Goodbye, Jillian.” That flash of sorrow in his eyes before he turned and walked out of the room was enough to shake me. What was going on? I couldn’t figure him out. All week we had been so hot for each other, nearly on fire. Had we really burned out that quickly?
And I knew I was right. Bruin was more than just the cocky, womanizing image he put out into the world. I had seen his softer, kinder side. I knew about his daughter, about how much he adored her and doted on her. That wasn’t the same Bruin who teased me years ago. He was more than that. But why did he turn away? Why was he so offended when I looked at that softer side? What was he so afraid of?
And then it hit me. Everything was fine until I’d mentioned Jeff.
Was that it? Bruin knew how important family was to my brother and me. Maybe he was worried that his presence in my life would piss off Jeff. Drive a wedge between us. And why the hell was Jeff so against the idea of Bruin being in my life, anyway? He was the one who pushed me to make this deal, after all. Did it have to do with Bruin’s daughter?
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I was a grown-ass woman. I could make my own decisions about who I slept with, who I loved. By the time Mirabella came to dock, I was on a warpath. I needed to talk to my big brother.
19
Bruin
The burn I felt in my arms as I lifted weights in my private gym on the Mirabella didn’t do as good a job of distracting me as I wanted. The only other workout enthusiast on the ship’s staff was one of the cooks, and he was spotting me as he counted my twelfth rep, giving me an uncertain look.
“Let’s call it there, boss,” he ventured, but I ignored him and did another rep.
