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“Thanks, again.” I felt calmer, less likely to slug someone. There was a way out of this. There always was. I just had to figure out what it was, and how much it was going to cost me .
Twenty-Six
Lennon
I was about to land in San Diego. My world felt ripped apart. The press hounded me. Wes had been accused of cheating the AFA rules, and I was five days late. I was never late. My period ran like clockwork .
One thing at a time. I couldn’t tell Wes about that now. Could be a total false alarm. But I couldn’t help it. My hand went to my stomach, wondering if there was a little life there. Had Wes and I made a baby? My chest clutched with anxiety at the thought. We couldn’t be parents. And not now, with this scandal falling from the sky .
I walked down the jetway, stopping to find my luggage before locating the sign with my name on it. Ever since I left Wes’s apartment with a new security detail, I felt the need to look over my shoulder. I didn’t trust anyone. I couldn’t strike up a conversation with the lady next to me on the plane who babbled on and on about her twins. What if she tweeted something about me? What if she tried to weasel out some personal detail about Wes ?
This level of scrutiny had made me paranoid, and it had only been a few hours since the news broke .
The driver took me downtown to one of the hotels on the water. It was the perfect San Diego scene. Romantic and magical. The lights sparkled on the water. But all I could think about was what Wes and I had to face. He was waiting for me. He had actually said on the phone that he needed me .
I straightened my shoulders and walked through the revolving door .
* * *
I knocked softly on the door. It opened, and Wes’s massive shoulders filled the frame .
“Hey.”
“Hey, Doc.” He pulled me inside, crushing my mouth with his lips. “Welcome to San Diego .”
I didn’t want to let go. I hadn’t seen him in days, and it felt good to be in his arms. To feel his strength wrap around me. He was warm and safe. I forgot about the storm brewing outside and just listened to his heart beat against his chest .
“I missed you.” I tipped forward on my toes to touch his lips again .
“It’s been a hell of a week here.” He took the bag off my shoulder and rolled my suitcase into the bedroom. “I already have a glass of wine for you .”
I twisted my lip. “I don’t think so. Maybe some ice water. Still feeling a little queasy from the flight. We had a lot of turbulence.” I couldn’t believe I had made that up, but I wasn’t going to scare him for no reason .
“Uhh, okay.” He dropped a few cubes and poured water into the crystal glass. “Here you go .”
“So, what’s the latest? What did your agent say?” I sat on the couch and waited .
“Lennon, I have to tell you. I want to tell you all of it .”
“Okay. What’s the plan ?”
“I’m not talking about the plan and how I’m digging myself out of this fucking hole. I’m talking about the truth. The truth you asked for weeks ago .”
I stared at him. His jaw was set in determination. “I’ve been taking HGH. Injections in my thigh.” He sat next to me. “And I had a procedure done by a doctor to fuse my bones together with a gel .”
“Oh my God .”
“I know. I know you think I’ve crossed a line and I did. Hell. I knew what I was doing. And I didn’t care. I wanted to win. I wanted to be here at the Super Bowl. It was all I could think about. All I could dream about .”
“And now? Do you still think it was worth it?” I asked quietly .
“Maybe.” He hung his head. “That’s the thing. I still want to win. And if it wasn’t for this damn reporter, I wouldn’t think anything about it. I’m only worried about being caught. I’m not sorry about the drugs or the proce
dure.” He cupped my cheeks between his hands. “And I want to be able to tell you I’m sorry. I know you think it’s wrong. And I play dirty. I cheated. I only care what you think about me. I don’t give a damn about the rest of the world. But I don’t want you to look at me thinking I’m a liar. Because with you, I’m not .”
“Are you going to admit what you did ?”
He dropped the warmth against my cheek. “No. Why would I do that ?”
