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I swallowed. If he was going to leave and never come back, I had to have this. I had to have him. I needed to memorize what it felt like when our bodies moved together. What it was like when he was inside me. I didn’t know the last time I should have traced every line of his body. That I should have studied all the shades of brown his eyes could make. That when he left all I would have would be these memories.
“Please fuck me,” I whispered. I was going to live in this moment as long as I could.
“Always.”
He carried me to the bed and dropped me in the center. He crawled toward me like a hungry tiger. He shed his boxer briefs in the next stride.
“One taste of you isn’t enough.” He moved closer.
My heart rushed with electricity.
“I want more. So much more of you.”
He kissed my knee and pushed it to the sheet.
“You’re my siren. My drug.” He looked up at me through those long lashes. “My addiction.”
I ran my hands through his hair.
I hadn’t been able to drink him away. I hadn’t been able to erase him. Or forget him. My anger had turned to grief. I had felt rage and pity. Humiliation and disbelief. The last weeks of my life were a maze of alcohol and loneliness. I had held on to the belief that I wasn’t the con. The magic I felt was real. It was tangible and powerful. It wasn’t an illusion or a scam. Everything between Vaughn and me was the kind of fire people dreamed about. Wrote about. We had it. It was here in this bed.
And that’s when I realized I couldn’t let him leave. Ever.
30
I watched Vaughn get dressed. I loved that he looked good wearing crisp white shirts or T-shirts. The idea slipped in that it helped him in his job. He was a chameleon.
I fluffed my wet hair with a towel. The shower had felt good.
“We need to go over the details,” he announced. He secured his belt.
“What details? Because I wanted to talk to you about what kind of counsel you should get. I think it’s best if we meet with someone before you turn yourself in.”
“Em, that’s not happening.”
I dropped the towel. “Of course it is. It’s the only way. You said you aren’t leaving without me. And I can’t pretend that it’s ok if you leave. This is the best option. I can use my connections at the law school. We’ll find an amazing attorney.”
“Just stop.” He held up his hand. “There is another way.”
He reached into his back pocket and handed me a passport.
I examined the cover and flipped it open.
“Holy shit. That’s me.” I looked at him. “Vanessa Thorne? What is this? Who did this? Is this real?”
“That is your new identity. I liked the name. I didn’t have a lot of options. You can’t be selective when it comes to creating a person who doesn’t exist.”
I dropped the document. “You bought a fake passport for me?”
“It’s more complicated than that, but yes. It’s a new identity. It’s not fake. Vanessa Thorne now exists. You look very real to me.”
I sat on the bed. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you would think this is even a possibility.” I traced the golden eagle on the front of the passport.
“It’s the reality of the situation. I told you I wasn’t leaving without you. How else did you think we’d leave the country together?”
My mouth hung open. “We aren’t supposed to leave the country. We’re supposed to use the law to get you out of this. We come up with a plea deal. I can talk to Agent Kenneth. We’ll trade evidence and information.”
“I don’t think you understand what I’m saying.”
