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There was no one here. Especially not my mother.
I tried my phone again, but it was locked and the screen was blank. The battery had been drained searching for service that didn’t exist.
I groaned, slouching into the wooden swing on the end of the short back porch. I needed a minute before I climbed into my car and drove away. I needed to think about how I had gotten to this point.
I pushed off the floor with my heels, watching the rusted metal hooks overhead. Miraculously, they held my weight as I swung back and forth. I kicked off again. This time floating higher.
All it had taken was one text. One small message to drag me out of AJ’s bed and onto this cold damp Louisiana porch. One text to jeopardize what we had mended.
And for what? What kind of game was this? Who played this dirty? I buried my head in my hands. Why in the hell had I been so gullible?
Our night together had been everything I had waited and longed for the last five years. Five fucking years. And I threw it away for this? A rusted out farmhouse? I wanted to cry and scream. But I was the only one to blame. It was me this time—I had left. It wasn’t AJ.
I looked out across the yard. There was a barn in the far corner of the lot. I didn’t like the idea of walking out there, but I wanted answers. I’d take anything at this point. Any type of clue, no matter how small. I was fueled by a new anger coursing through me. I pushed off the swing and trudged across the yard. I was careful walking through the tall grass. My ankles still hurt from the zip ties my kidnappers had used, and I didn’t know what kind of critters might be lying in the grass.
I was surprised when the wooden handle turned on the barn door. The hinges squeaked when I pulled the heavy door open. I wished I could use the flashlight on my phone. I peered into the darkness, with only the gray light from outside to see. There wasn’t much inside. An old tractor. A workbench with tools scattered about. A pair of bikes dumped in the corner. I sighed. I’d come up empty again.
This barn could have belonged to anyone. There was nothing that stood out. Nothing personal. No pictures on the walls. No names carved into the wood. No stacks of cardboard boxes.
I closed the door and walked back to the house through the rain. By now, my clothes were soaked and my hair stuck to my forehead and neck. The chill seeped into my skin. I wanted to turn on the heat in the car and drive back to D.C.
Only I had no idea what I was driving back to. Would there be anything left? I had dropped a grenade and run. AJ would be furious. Would he even speak to me again? I had blown off the mandatory debrief with the FBI. I hadn’t returned his calls. I had betrayed him at the deepest level. I had broken promises I couldn’t un-break.
I knew what it felt like to wake up alone. I was the one person who should have been incapable of causing that kind of pain. And up until three days ago, I swore I was.
But suddenly after five years, AJ was back in my life. Confessing his love. Promising his protection. Taking me under in his bed. What did it all mean? Three days on the road should have cleared my head, but it didn’t. I was focused on finding my birth mother.
I fought against thinking about what happened on that airplane. I didn’t want to relive the moments in the baggage hold. How we almost died. Instead, I thought about what she might look like. I wondered if she would have blue eyes too, or if maybe I had gotten those from my father. Would she talk softly? Would we have the same freckles on our arms or the same laugh? Would she know who I was without me having to say a word?
The drive from D.C. didn’t clear my head. It jumbled it with more questions and confusion. I stepped in a puddle. The water seeped into the leather on my shoes. “Shit,” I whispered.
I looked up when I heard an engine coming down the driveway. I couldn’t see it through the overgrown foliage, but someone was headed toward me. I cowered toward the side of the house. A sliver of hope wormed its way in. Maybe this was her. She was back from a trip to the market. The closest town was forty-five minutes from here. It made sense she would be gone for long periods of time to run errands.
/> As the tires rumbled over the gravel and the car emerged from the brush, the sinking pit in my stomach opened wide.
The car pulled up next to mine in the semi-circle drive. The wiper blades swishing at a furious pace.
As soon as the door opened I knew I had made a terrible mistake.
My eyes locked on his. Dark midnight eyes that knew the depths of my soul.
It wasn’t my birth mother.
It was AJ.
Chapter Three
I couldn’t hide on the side of the house forever. The longer I waited the more absurd it seemed. I stepped forward away from the camellia bush. Even it looked half-dead.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. My voice sounded small as I tried to act confident.
The door slammed behind him. He stepped into the puddles, kicking rocks out of his way. The rain fell between us in fat heavy drops.
“Syd.” He stared at me. His eyes were dark and piercing. He stole my breath. He stirred a craving under my skin. I had to ignore the electric tension that emerged whenever he was near.
My eyes fell to the gravel. I couldn’t look at him. Not when I’d hurt him the way I had. Not after I had run away without an explanation.
“How did you find me?”
