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“Where’s the baby Sierra? What happened to the baby?” I felt a desperate instinct kick in. Maybe that should have been my first question. Where was my child?
“It wasn’t ever going to be a baby. The pregnancy was ectopic. I miscarried two months after I left.”
“Shit.” My mouth hung open.
“By then I didn’t think I could come back. I had already ruined everything. And I couldn’t tell you I had lost the baby. I just couldn’t.”
“I could have handled it.”
“Really?” she questioned. “Your mom was gone. You were grieving and I didn’t want to ruin the happiness you had in your life. You deserved those. You were already headed to the conference championships. You were rookie of the year. You had a new girlfriend.” Her eyes hardened. “I didn’t have a place in your life anymore.”
“She wasn’t a girlfriend. And it wasn’t a happy time.” I ran my hands through my hair. “This is fucking unbelievable.”
I rose from the floor and paced the edge of the porch. I felt like a caged tiger. There was nowhere to go. And even though I felt restless, I felt like I couldn’t leave her. Not after she had just told me she was going to have my baby all of those years ago.
“I know. I know it is. And I’m sorry, Blake. I should have been stronger back then, but I wasn’t. You were my life. My everything. I didn’t know what to do without you. And I didn’t have the courage to stand up to your dad. Not without you I couldn’t.”
My hand rested on the railing and I looked at her.
“All these years I’ve been angry as hell at you.”
“I know you have.”
“So angry, I wanted every trace of you gone. Every memory. Every song. Every movie. Every joke we laughed about. And you know how I did it?”
She shook her head slowly.
“I fucked every woman I met. I fucked them so you wouldn’t be in here anymore.” I pounded my chest. “I threw everything I had into football. And I became the best. The absolute best.” I clenched my jaw. “So I guess I should thank you for that, Sierra.” The bitterness in my voice was palpable. I didn’t know if I was angrier before she told me or now.
“Blake…”
“Don’t,” I growled. “Don’t you dare give me your fucking pity.” I glared at her. “I got over you. And some story about a baby that doesn’t exist doesn’t bring that all back.”
Her slender frame extended from the chair and she walked toward me. Graceful. Beautiful. Sexy.
“It doesn’t have to bring anything back.”
Her hand touched my arm, singeing my skin with heat.
“But the secrets are gone. The lies are out,” she whispered. “This is who we are now.” Her hand moved up my arm.
“I can’t go back to who I used to be,” I warned her.
“I don’t want you to,” she whispered. “I want to know this version of you. I want to know the man you are.
“Every time we get close again I hold back. I’ve been afraid you would find out the truth. And now that I know about your dad…” Her words drifted off.
“You were that scared of him?” I questioned.
She nodded. “He was your father, and I know you’re in pain dealing with his death, but he terrified me.”
“You never should have felt threatened. Never.”
My hands balled into fists by my side. The need to hold her and protect her against the injustice consumed me. I didn’t care if it was my father or a stranger—she never should have faced that fear alone.
“Blake, can you forgive me? Can you try to understand why I kept the secret?”
“I get it when you were eighteen, but why didn’t you say something sooner? Why did you wait until today? Why now? You could have tracked me down. You could have tried, damn it.”
