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“You know I mean your father. I would rather see him if you don't mind.”
“Well,” he said a little taken aback by my refusal to let him near my daughter. “The elder Dr. Smith is out for lunch. We are booked solid all day, so it’s me or waiting till Monday. I can assure you I am well trained in,” he looked down at the notes in the file, “sore throats and coughs.”
I hesitated a moment. It was dangerous enough that Hawk had Emma's file in his hand. What if he found out. I kicked myself for making this stupid risk.
“She has a pretty high fever too,” I said and watched him jot that down in the notes.
When Hawk left six years ago without so much as a word I saw nothing wrong with settling down in this sleepy little town I had grown to love. I knew it would be the perfect place to raise my daughter after I finished college at the local state campus just a short drive away.
Sure this wasn’t the life I had dreamt for myself when I had first entered my higher education. I had always wanted to take my swimming talents to more, maybe even the Olympics. But that had all changed when I found out I had a little life inside me.
I didn’t regret my decision to have Emma nor to raise her. Yes, it had meant giving up any swimming career dreams, but she was worth all of it. Now I worked at the local high school teaching P.E. and coaching the swim teams. Maybe it wasn’t as fantastical as I had initially dreamed of myself but I was happy, and Emma was too. That was all that I cared about now.
Things were going right for the two of us. I couldn’t help but wonder how that was going to change if Hawk was back in town.
“Are you just here for a little while?” I asked trying to sound as nonchalant as I could.
“Back for good," he said giving me a weak smile.
“And you are going to be working here in this office? Like all the time?”
“That is the plan,” he said raising a questioning dark brow at me. “Is that going to be a problem?” He asked still waiting for me to move out of his way.
“It’s just. We really like Dr. Smith. Emma can be pretty particular and shy.”
“Well, Dad will still be here for the next few months, but eventually he plans to retire.”
I slumped my shoulders in disappointment.
“If you don’t feel comfortable with this,” he said motioning between the two of us, “I can recommend some pediatricians not too far away. I don’t think anyone will be able to see you today, however.”
I weighed this over in my head. I was going to need to switch doctors, maybe even move away. I couldn’t risk Hawk finding out. It made me a little angry. Why should Emma and I haul our asses out of town to run from him? He was the one that up and left, and now I had to uproot our lives just for the sake of him.
“I just didn’t know if you planned to up and disappear again, you know, since your so good at it,” I said narrowing my eyes at him.
“Jules,” he said with a heavy sigh.
“No,” I said putting my hand up to interrupt him. “I don’t want to hear it. Just check over Emma and leave.”
I stepped aside and finally gave him access to Emma praying with all my heart he didn’t connect the dots in the few seconds he was about to interact with her.
Three
My heart hit the ground at Julie's harsh words. I didn’t b
lame her though. I did deserve it. I had just up and left without so much as a goodbye. What she didn’t know is that it was the only way I could have left her. There was no way I was going to be able to face her and still leave.
I had to go. I had to make something of myself. More than anything, I had to get out of this little town that knew everything about everyone. I wanted to see the world and experience life before I was chained down.
I was sorry she was a casualty of that dream. Honestly, once I had left and really got to experience life I never planned on coming back. Even now coming back I had never dreamed in a million years that Julie Jones would still be here.
I steeled my guilt on the fact that at least she had found happiness for herself. The little girl on the papered table was proof of that.
I couldn’t help but get a quick glance at her left hand. No ring. That didn’t mean anything though. Most people didn’t get married these days. She caught my glimpse and moved her hand out of view.
I made my way over to Emma and began the examination all the while acutely aware of Julie's closeness to me.
“Alright Miss Emma, I’m going to use this little arm ban to take your blood pressure. It's going to squeeze like a big bear hug.”
