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“It’s not a game for me. Not anymore.”
“It is whether you’re playing or not. You know,” he started, daring to inch closer, “I don’t have to sleep with her to get her to sign, but I will.”
I took a breath, stretching myself taller. “You will not.”
“Any means necessary.” His face was dark. There was no smile, no amusement. No game. “I was wrong to ever think you could impress me. You had one job, and you failed. And now I have one job—do what you couldn’t. To do what you never could.”
“Leave them alone.”
“When did you get so soft? You’ve been here too long, went too deep to get on the Blum girl’s good side. You forgot where you came from, who you are. And now you’re about to let a billion-dollar deal go. And for what? The hippie bee farmer you’re fucking?”
In two strides, we were nearly nose to nose, my chin down, fists knotted at my sides. “Say another fucking thing about her, and I’ll break your nose.”
There—a smile.
“Why?” I asked. “Why do you enjoy this so much? If I’m not miserable, you’re not happy.”
Instantly, the smile was gone. “You know why.”
“Say it.”
“You’re not in a position to make demands.”
“Say it. Out loud. Tell me why you hate me.”
Something in him changed. He grew, or I shrank as his chin lowered with his voice, emotionless. Steely eyes staked me to the ground. “I don’t hate you. But every time I lay eyes on you reminds me that you’re here, and she isn’t. I hate what you stand for. I hate the way I feel when we share air. But I’ve always taken care of you, Grant. I’ve always provided. And I put my career on the line by taking you in. Your failure reflects directly on me. I’ve lost enough by your hand to lose respect in my position too, and all because you’re too weak to do what needs to be done.”
I held my ground, but hearing those words left me numb. There was no addressing them. There was no arguing.
“You care about her, but you’re poison,” he continued. “You think you’re saving them. You think you’re helping her. But the truth is that you’ve twisted her around, compromised her morals for the money. You don’t care about her. You care about winning and money, so much so, you’ve tainted her for your own gain. It’s what you do, Grant. It’s what we do.”
The truth of the accusation split me in two, renting my soul down the middle—who I was then, who I was now, and the wound that separated the two.
He was right. He might not have been inherently evil, but what evil he contained he’d used to possess me. The trace of it was left on every decision I made, everything I’d done.
But I could do one right. One final right.
“I won’t play them, and you won’t either.”
He laughed, though the sound held no joy. “And how do you plan to stop me? Will you tattle on me? Because I’m sure they’d love to hear that your plans are no different than mine.”
“Maybe once, but not anymore.”
“Do you think that’ll matter to them?”
The question struck me still.
Again with the cruel smile. “How will your little Blum girl feel when she finds out she was just part of a game? What will she say when she learns you used her? When she learns you lied to her? You knew my intentions all this time. And you never abandoned the game. You’re playing it even now. When she finds out, what will she do?”
I’ll lose her. Fear shredded what was left of me, leaving me ribbons and remnants.
I love her.
The light of that knowledge filled my heart, beamed through my ribs. But there was no hope in the feeling. It was watching a train leave the station, standing on the platform alone with nothing to do but watch her go, knowing it was the right thing for her even though it would be my ruin.
Nothing mattered but making it right. Because it wasn’t about the money or my job. It wasn’t about my father, who would never give me what I wanted, just keep me living on those scraps and crumbs. There was only one real thing in my life, and saving that was all that mattered now.
It was all that ever mattered.
“Guess we’ll find out.” I turned on my heel and headed to the dresser for a shirt, tugging it on to cover that ache in my chest that had just been so full. Nothing was left but shards, smashed by the sledgehammer of truth.
The truth they needed to know.
The truth I owed her, no matter what it cost me.
When he spoke, his voice held no levity. Only a warning. “If you tell them, I’ll tell them what you did.”
