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“Brianna would hate it,” Sam admitted.
“There’s kids who pray every night for all this to be over. There’s other kids who pray every night that the barrier stays right where it is. And now that we’re going to show them all this lovely fresh water, this nice place up here . . .”
“You believe that,” Toto confirmed.
“Thanks,” Dekka said sarcastically.
Sam gazed out at the lake with a very different feeling now. If they had water, if they had food, if peace could be kept between him and Caine, and especially if they could get power flowing somehow, how many kids would stop hoping for an end to the FAYZ?
“You need to think about all that, Sam,” Dekka said. “You’re the leader, after all.”
“Not anymore,” he said.
Dekka laughed. She stood up and stretched. “Sam: you’re still the leader. You’re always going to be the leader. It’s not something you choose: it’s something you are.”
She took his arm and guided him out of the building, out onto the dock.
Her mood was different now. Sam was shocked by the suddenness of the change. She’d been putting on an act. But now her eyes were dull and her mouth turned down at the edges. She stood close to him, took his hand, and pressed it to her shirt over the top of her abdomen. “Feel that? That lump?”
He nodded.
“My mom had a benign cyst once, so maybe that’s all it is,” Dekka said gravely.
“You think it’s . . .”
“Maybe I just noticed it because I’m looking for it, but maybe it’s one of them,” Dekka said.
“Don’t jump to—”
“I’m not,” Dekka said. “But if that’s what it is, if it’s those things, I’m going to ask you to take care of me.”
“We’ve been over this,” Sam said, pulling his hand away.
“If I tell you it’s time, you do it, okay, Sam?”
He couldn’t answer.
“I’m not afraid to die,” Dekka said.
Sam was glad Toto wasn’t there to hear.
“And you have to promise me something,” Dekka said.
“What?”
“Don’t you ever tell Brianna what you know about how I feel. It would only bring her pain. I love her and I wouldn’t want to make her hurt.”
“Dekka . . .”
“No,” she said briskly. “Don’t argue, okay? Maybe I’m wrong and this is nothing. So let’s not argue about it.”
“Yeah,” he said. They stood awkwardly for a while, then Sam said, “I don’t want to sound weird, but you know I love you, right?”
“Love you, too, Sam.”
Sam made a move as if to hug her, but stopped himself.
She smiled. “Yeah, we’re not the huggy type, are we?”
