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“I’m an asshole because you enjoyed getting fucked by me?”
“Yes. Exactly. Finally you’re getting it.”
He let out a long sigh. “I already told you how I feel about relationships.” He was speaking more softly now.
“Yeah, I remember. You’re worried you’ll fall madly in love with me if you don’t constantly push me away. Right?”
“That’s not how I remember explaining it.”
The car pulled up. Our driver appeared to be an old woman with a head of wild, curly gray hair.
“You’re our driver?” Sebastian asked. He leaned in the passenger window, giving the woman a skeptical look. “How old are you?”
The woman’s eyebrows shot up. “What kind of man asks a young woman a question like that?”
The woman was about seventy years past the point of anyone mistaking her for a “young woman” by my guess. I was actually concerned she might be pushing ninety.
“You getting in or what?” she asked. She was wearing a pink tracksuit with white stripes. There was an ashtray tipped over in one of her cupholders and a few dozen bobble heads of various pro wrestlers on her dashboard.
Sebastian guided me in first, then grumbled under his breath. “You attract weird like a fucking magnet.”
I gave him a look. “I’d say, I attracted you. Didn’t I?”
He scowled, then told the woman to drive carefully. As far as I could tell, she did drive carefully, but I stopped counting the fourth time she almost took us over the edge of a cliff on the thirty-minute drive into town.
26
Sebastian
I waited in a little metal chair in the corner of a doctor’s exam room. The chair was behind the door, and every time one of the nurses came in, I nearly got my teeth knocked in. Kenzie was making herself comfortable on the exam table. Every few seconds, she shifted her position and made the crinkly paper crunch and complain.
The woman was as restless as a small child.
“Can you sit still?” I snapped after the latest nurse had left to go fetch the doctor.
“You try getting comfy up here.”
“I don’t need to because I didn’t throw myself off a cliff and crash into a tree.”
“Ha. Ha. You should really get into writing comedy, Sebastian. You’re so hilarious.”
“I’ll leave the comedy to you. I’m not sure you can avoid making a joke out of yourself if you try. You might as well try to earn some money from your condition.”
She folded her arms, glaring. I hadn’t told her there was a twig in her hair yet, and she still hadn’t noticed. She looked absolutely wild with her hair in a twisted mess like she’d paid a drunken forest critter to style it. There was a tear down the side of her pants where they’d cut them open to look at the injury. “You know what bothers me about you?” she asked.
“I’m guessing you’re about to tell me.”
“You think I can’t see through it. That’s your problem. You think I don’t see you’re having fun. I don’t care how much you growl and look moody. I know you’re enjoying this. All of it. But then you get pissed at yourself for having fun and try to convince yourself I’m making you miserable.”
“I don’t particularly care what you think you know about me.”
She shook her head, lips pursed. “See? That’s exactly what I mean. Any time it gets real you try to be mean. You want me to get pissed and back off. Then once I back off, you start secretly having fun again.”
“Stick with writing. You’d make a terrible psychologist.”
“If you hate being around me so much, why did you invite me here? Why ask me to watch your cat?”
My nostrils flared. “I was able to write when you showed up. Briefly. I thought keeping you around would help me finish my book.”
“Let me guess. You’re able to write when we’re getting along, right? But what happens when we’re fighting?”
I didn’t want to answer that. “I’m going to go see what’s taking the doctor so long.”
I started to stand, but Kenzie stopped me by kicking her good leg out and pressing the door closed. The damn room was so small I was cornered by her stubby little leg. I ran my tongue across my teeth, standing and looking down at her. “Move your leg.”
“No. Answer my question.”
“I’m going to go find the doctor.”
I pushed down on her leg and it slid off the door. Before I could even open it, I heard the paper on the exam table crinkle. Kenzie landed on my back, arms wrapped around my shoulders as she scrambled around like she wanted another piggyback ride. “Answer the question!” She hissed in my ear.
Frankly, I’d felt mildly pissed ever since I left for a jog in the morning. I wasn’t great at examining my own emotions. All I knew was something felt like it was in turmoil inside me. I felt restless. Angry. It seemed like things weren’t going the way I wanted them to go, but I had no control to bring them back in line.
