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“Without giving more information than I’d like to give in front of a room full of gawking people,” she said, suddenly raising her voice and turning to sweep a glare over Cooney, Astaire, and Reggie. The three of them all suddenly mumbled something about fresh air and went to the back patio, leaving us alone. “Yes,” she said once they were gone. “It’s yours because you were the only one I slept with in like… well, yes. I’m very sure.”
Jesus, I thought. A baby. I stepped back, taking my hand from her belly. The room spun around me, and my vision dimmed. I felt like I was going to fall, but I planted my hand on the counter and steadied myself. “You’re absolutely certain?” I said.
“Yes,” she said. I was gradually regaining my composure, which let me notice how nervous she was to be telling me all of this. Her eyes were darting all over my face, searching for any signs of my reaction.
She was probably worried I was going to tell her to fuck off and deal with it herself. I could hardly blame her if that’s what she thought. There were still complicated questions swirling in my head. Reservations, doubts, and a whole mess of other things. But all I needed to know in that moment was how vulnerable Kenzie felt. All I wanted was to take that fear away from her.
I pulled her towards me by her hips. Her body pressed into mine and her lips parted. Her big eyes trailed up to mine, cheeks going a darker shade of red.
“You’re not in this alone, Kenzie. I’m not going anywhere.”
“So what are we going to do?” she asked.
“See where this goes,” I said.
“What if it goes straight into a dumpster fire?”
I chuckled. “Then I guess we’re both about to get hot.”
“And smelly,” she whispered, but she closed her eyes and pushed her cheek to my chest, squeezing me in a tight hug.
I stared at the wall over her shoulder, eyes glazing over as thoughts tore through my brain. I saw Coonie and Astaire flashing cheesy grins and thumbs up from the patio window, and decided to close my eyes instead.
What the hell were we going to do about this?
31
Kenzie
I was beginning to really enjoy the crisp, quiet mornings at the cabin. I got out of bed and stretched, then felt a jolt of vertigo when I remembered what had happened yesterday.
I finally told Sebastian the truth. And he hadn’t tried to kill me, drag me in court, or pretend I didn’t exist. He’d just wrapped me in his big arms and told me he wasn’t going anywhere. That I wasn’t alone.
But I didn’t think either of us knew where this was going to go. We’d tried hating each other. We’d tried “meaningless sex”. So what was being civil to eachother supposed to look like?
“You’re awake,” he said. “Here, drink this.”
I looked down at the cup in his hand. Sebastian was already dressed, showered, and standing by my bedside. When had he managed all that without waking me? “Is that tea?”
“I read that it helps with nausea. Have you been getting morning sickness?”
Sebastian always spoke with a kind of calm but firm tone. Since yesterday, there was such a slight change in the way he spoke to me that I barely caught it, but I knew something had shifted. There was a little less clenching of his jaw and fiery glaring. Just a bit less.
“I haven’t thrown up yet, but my stomach has been feeling weird lately. Like I might.”
“Try this,” he said. “I was going to go grab us some breakfast. What would you like?”
I cupped the tea in both hands. It was warm and felt good against my skin. “Is this the kind of treatment I can expect now that you know I’m growing a little baby inside me?”
I’d meant it as an off-handed tease, but Sebastian looked serious. “I’ve been cruel to you.”
I tilted my head. “To be fair, well,” I grinned. “Okay, yeah. You’ve had your moments. Is this where you tell me that’s going to change?”
“I owe you an explanation. A real one. The way I’ve treated you is because of the way you make me feel. You drive me crazy, Kenzie. I didn’t think I could afford to feel that way or to give up that much of my focus. So the more I felt, the more I thought I needed to push you away. But it was a shitty way to treat you, and you deserved better. I should’ve simply been honest from the start. And I should’ve been strong enough to let you leave my house after your head healed. Offering you the job to watch Mr. Meatball was selfish and cruel.”
I would’ve thought hearing him apologize in any capacity would feel like the ultimate redemption. Instead, it just opened up some kind of emotional chasm in my chest. I couldn’t figure out why until I started talking. “You’re not the only one who wasn’t being honest about their feelings. I mean, I knew I was pregnant and didn’t tell you because I was afraid.”
