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“That’s it?” I asked, stopping him before he could leave.
“I told you already,” he said. “I don’t care how much I enjoyed that. I can’t afford relationships. I’m committed to my writing. That’s it.”
I’d talked a big game a few minutes ago, but that had been coming straight from my ass. I didn’t do this sort of thing. The idea of hooking up with a guy and parting ways like it was no big deal was alien, and I was already struggling with it. He must’ve seen the hurt on my face, because his hard features softened.
Sebastian came closer to me and put his hand on the small of my back. He lifted my chin with the edge of his index finger and planted a tender kiss on my mouth. It took my breath away.
Everything before the gentle warmth of his lips against mine had been passion and lust. The kiss was fireworks. It was sparks blasting against my skin in fiery, sizzling bursts of delight. It was the moment that was going to haunt me. That fact popped into my head with so much sudden certainty I knew it was true to the core of my being. This damn man who was supposed to be a fling was going to crawl inside my brain and live rent-free.
I was leaning forward for more when he pulled away. He looked down at me under those long, thick eyelashes and gave me a sad smile. “In another life, I would’ve enjoyed keeping you,” he said, giving my cheek a brush with his fingertip, and then he was gone.
When I took a step toward the door, I thought I felt something run down my inner thigh. I had a moment of complete, blind panic as I did an undignified crouching maneuver to make sure his sperm hadn’t somehow burst free of the condom. I sighed with relief when I saw I’d been imagining it. My thighs were clean and only slightly in need of a shave.
Naturally, I’d broken my dry spell when I wasn’t smoothly shaven. But I quietly thanked whoever was watching over me. Maybe the guy made me feel like a fool, and maybe I’d be sexily haunted by the memory of our lone encounter for the rest of my life, but the universe wasn’t cruel enough to toss a broken condom into the mix.
If my life came with a narrator, that was around the moment he would’ve burst into cackling, maniacal laughter.
4
Kenzie
It was a week after the conference. The trees were just beginning to turn pretty colors, but it was already cold enough that my freaking toes felt like they were about to fall off. I tried to wiggle them in my sandals as I walked down the streets of downtown Winston-Salem, North Carolina. One of these days, I was going to learn that the convenience of slipping on sandals wasn’t worth the risk of frostbite. But that day wasn’t today, baby.
I hurried up the huge stone steps to my brother’s building, greeted the doorman, who nodded and smiled at me, and headed inside the pleasantly warm lobby to wait for the elevator. The building had a ritzy, too rich for you, kind of vibe that made me feel like I should walk around with my head lowered.
The inside of the elevator was all polished imported Italian stone and glass. Did I know if they actually imported the stuff from Italy? No. But in a place like this, you could almost guarantee they even imported their toilet paper.
Classical music played gently inside the elevator, and I took a deep, calming breath while I waited for the doors to close. It was nice until the images of what I’d done last week came rushing back to me in a hazy blur. His hands tangled in mine. His body thrusting against me. The delicious sensation of him filling me completely. It was all there, no matter how hard I tried to forget.
I’d nearly barfed the morning after when I thought about what I’d done. It wasn’t the sex that had my stomach in knots, though. It was how stupid I’d been to believe I could share a moment like that with someone and have it mean nothing. Of course, I still had lingering feelings. Of course, it had been more than sex. And of course, I was an idiot for thinking it would be any other way.
He warned you about how it was going to go before you went into the room, Kenzie. I sighed. Stupidly, I guess I’d been imagining that was just a thing people said. No strings. It was like saying “no offense” before you said something definitely offensive, right? No offense, but you look like shit today!
I sighed aloud and attempted to think about something else. Anything else. I settled for thinking about the time my brother Travis tried to sneak a red panda out of a behind the scenes zoo field trip he took in middle school. He’d somehow made it as far as the parking lot before they apprehended him. The memory always brightened my mood. I hadn’t been there, but I’d seen the pictures on the news the following day, along with the pseudo-mugshot he’d posed for after the fact. His cheeky ass had been winking and smiling at the camera, and it had made him famous among his peers for years afterwards.
