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After a moment, I admitted, “Probably not.”
“Who are you, and what have you done with Phoenix Jaymes?”
“What do you mean?”
“The Phoenix I know doesn’t do shit like this! He’s cautious, jaded, and practical as hell. He also understands celebrities are self-centered egomaniacs, and the only way to do this job is to set boundaries and keep them at arm’s length. They’ll chew you up and spit you out if you let them.”
“You’re not wrong about any of that,” I said, “but this is no big deal. It’s just sex, with no strings attached. I’m not naïve enough to think it’s going to turn into a relationship, or that Harper and I are somehow going to live happily ever after.”
Noah looked concerned. “You say that, but I’m still worried you’ll get hurt when this inevitably ends.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m going into it with my eyes wide open and just enjoying this for what it is.”
His expression turned skeptical. “None of this makes sense, because you’re not a casual sex type of guy. From every conversation we’ve ever had about relationships, I know you’re all about monogamy and commitment.”
“And look where that’s gotten me, Noah. I’m thirty years old, perpetually single, and so sex-starved that I almost started dry-humping Harper in the car on the way to the studio this morning.”
“That right there is the definition of TDMI, too damn much information. It even came with a mental picture. I can’t unsee that.”
“Sorry.” He sighed and sat on the arm of the sofa, and after a pause I changed the subject with, “So, how’s life as my evil twin’s assistant? I couldn’t help but notice his latest album was a smash hit on both the country and pop charts, and he must be getting ready to go out on tour soon.”
“He’s actually about to shoot the pilot for a new primetime drama. Until he knows if the series is going to get picked up by the network, all touring plans are on hold.”
I muttered, “You’re kidding me.”
“Nope. He’s playing a sexy young doctor and volunteer firefighter who sweeps all the ladies off their feet in a small southern town. Didn’t he tell you?”
I dropped onto the couch and said, “No, but then I hadn’t spoken to him since Christmas, when we both went to visit our parents in Florida. It’s funny, when I saw how ripped he was a few minutes ago, my first thought was that it looked like he was getting ready to star in an action movie.”
“Maybe that’ll be next,” Noah said.
“Why acting? His musical career isn’t even close to plateauing, so this move doesn’t make sense.”
“He didn’t go looking for it. The show’s executive producer thought Dallas would be perfect for the part, so he spent months selling him on it. Your brother finally decided it sounded like a fun challenge.”
“It’ll probably be a huge success, even though it sounds like total shit,” I said, as I slumped against the back of the couch. “Everything Dallas touches turns to gold. I don’t think he could fail at something if he tried.”
“It must suck, since I know you have aspirations of a singing career. I can’t even imagine what that’d be like, watching your twin living your dream.”
“You’d think I’d have gotten used to it by now, since he got his big break over a decade ago,” I said. “But it still makes me feel like the biggest loser on the planet. The fact that my identical twin is a huge success should mean I have the skills to do the same thing. Besides genetics, obviously, we had the same music lessons and vocal coaches, but he was a total slacker while I practiced constantly. He’s basically been phoning it in since we were kids, and hey, turns out that’s the recipe for worldwide superstardom. Who knew?”
“It’s no wonder you hate him.”
I sighed and said, “I actually love Dallas, even if he’s turned into a douche. It’s just frustrating, because I was the one who wanted the musical career. He came along for the ride, because our mom thought the novelty of identical twins performing together would be the hook that landed us a record contract. Then Dallas got signed and I didn’t. I don’t mean to sound like a jealous, bitter asshole, but sometimes life seems incredibly unfair.”
“You don’t come across as jealous and bitter, although anyone in your situation has a right to be. You just seem disappointed.” After a moment, he grinned and added, “It could totally be the set up for a cheesy horror movie, one where the guy eliminates his rich, famous identical twin and assumes his identity. You should be commended for the fact that Dallas isn’t currently tied up in your basement.”
I laughed at that and said, “Yay, me. I might be a loser, but at least I haven’t gone totally psycho on my brother.”
