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“Why did the army tell me Trace had died in a training exercise?”
“Because they didn’t want the negative press. They told me they’d punish the guys who did it, but if I went public, everyone would know what had been done to Trace.” Ronan shook his head. “I couldn’t let them do that to him. It would have been like he was being violated a second time.” I felt Ronan shift enough so that he could look up at me. “I didn’t want you to know either.”
I used my finger to wipe away his remaining tears. “I’m so sorry, Ronan,” I whispered as I brushed my mouth over his. “I’m so sorry for what happened to you.”
Ronan jerked and sat up, putting distance between us. But I still had my hands on his arms and either he didn’t notice or he didn’t care because he didn’t move them. “No…I told you, it was my fault. I made him meet me. He couldn’t fight back because he was defending me! I couldn’t save him.”
With every word, Ronan’s whole body shook and he tried to put more space between us. But I followed and when he got too far away, I snaked my hand around the back of his neck and gently pulled him forward until our foreheads were touching. “I’m sorry for what happened to you, Ronan.”
“Seth, don’t-” Ronan whispered harshly. His fingers were biting into my arms but I didn’t care.
“I’m so glad you survived. I’m so glad you came back to me.”
This time Ronan didn’t say anything; he just shook his head against mine and then let out a brutal, gut-wrenching sob. I knew the tears he’d shed before had been for Trace but these…these were for himself.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ronan
It took me several long seconds to process what the heavy weight on my chest was, but once I did, I was glad I was laying down because the night before came back to me in such a rush, that I was sure it would have knocked me to my knees if I’d been standing.
I hadn’t understood the reason for Seth’s violent outburst when we’d gotten back to the hotel after dinner, but once I’d seen my actions through his eyes, I’d understood that I’d pushed him too far. I’d hurt him too badly. And then I’d only wanted to hurt myself. So that was exactly what I’d done as soon as I’d seen my own reflection in the mirror. But it hadn’t been enough and I vented all my grief and heartache on the rest of the room before giving in to the stunning realization that I’d lost Seth for good.
And then he’d been there before me and I’d known it would be my last chance. My only chance.
“Is this okay?” Seth asked, his breath gently washing over my skin where he had his head resting on my chest. His arm was wrapped around my waist and my arm was resting against his back. I didn’t remember taking our shirts off last night after he’d held me for what seemed like hours. We were both still wearing the pants we’d each worn to dinner.
“Yes,” I said, my voice sounding hoarse. I ran my hand up and down Seth’s back and felt a sting of pain as I put too much pressure directly on the cut that slashed across my palm. The bandage was still in place, but I could see a little bit of dried blood on it. I lifted my hand and let my fingers trail through Seth’s hair. “Will you come take a shower with me?”
Seth nodded against me and then lifted up and kissed me gently. He got up and climbed over me and then searched out my hand and led me to the bathroom. As he got the water started, I began unwrapping the bandage but Seth quickly took over the task and when he had the bandage free, he carefully placed a kiss on an uninjured section of my palm. While I checked the severity of the cut, Seth got undressed and then he was working on my pants. His seeking fingers quickly distracted me from the gash on my hand.
“Does it need stitches?” Seth asked.
The feel of Seth’s hands roaming over my ass as he pushed my underwear and pants down had me asking, “What?”
“Your hand, does it need stitches?”
“No,” I managed to answer, though what I really wanted to do was kiss Seth and beg him to keep touching me. But he finished stripping me and then led me into the shower. I only managed to steal a few kisses as Seth took his time washing me and by the time he’d finished, I was painfully hard. I reached for the soap to return the favor, but let out a muffled moan when Seth’s hand closed around my cock.
