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“Tate, this is my boyfriend, Ronan. Ronan, this is Tate,” Seth said as he motioned to me. “And this is Matty,” he said with a big smile as he put his hand briefly on one of Matty’s legs.
Ronan nodded at me as he pulled Seth against his side. “Hi, Matty.”
I barely noticed Ronan and Seth talking to Matty because I was lost in the way the two men held onto each other. My childhood hadn’t exactly given me a lot of opportunities to see how two people in love behaved with one another, but seeing two men being so openly affectionate was overwhelming and a rush of envy went through me. I’d hidden my sexuality for so long that I’d just assumed it was something other gay men automatically did as well when they were in the presence of other people. But the two men in front of me weren’t hiding anything…not from me, not from my son, not from each other.
“Daddy, can we?”
I realized I’d missed Matty’s question entirely when I noticed him and both men watching me expectantly.
“Can we what?”
“Can we take Bullet for a walk?” Matty asked. His voice had started to lose some of its shyness.
“There’s a nice beach down by the water,” Seth explained.
“You sure you’re not too tired?” I asked.
Matty shook his head.
“Okay,” I said.
“Can Hawke come?”
Ronan answered before I could come up with an excuse because I had no doubt the man had no interest in spending any more time with us if he could avoid it.
“Hawke was pretty tired so he went inside to take a nap,” Ronan said. “You sure you don’t want to take one?”
The man’s question had the desired effect because it took Matty’s focus off of Hawke.
“Noooooo,” Matty said with a laugh.
But as I followed Ronan and Seth around the side of the house towards the backyard, I realized that even though Matty wasn’t thinking about Hawke anymore, I couldn’t say the same thing.
Chapter Seven
Hawke
Despite the sweat that was dripping down my forehead and into my eyes, I saw Ronan the second he walked into the large gym that was located in the lower level of the house. I’d been waiting for him to come find me because I knew he wasn’t going to wait very long to get the information he wanted. But I didn’t let up on the punches I was laying into the heavy weight bag that hung from the ceiling in the corner of the gym. And when Ronan came over to hold the bag steady so I could take out even more of my frustration on it, he didn’t say a word. I lost track of how much time had passed as I pounded on the canvas bag and even when my arms began to burn, I continued. Because it was the only thing that was keeping me from hunting down Tate and dragging him to me so I could finally see if his lips were as soft as they looked. If his taste was sweet or heady or a mixture of both.
I would have had my answer out in the driveway if we hadn’t been interrupted. I knew that without a shadow of a doubt. I could pretend as much as I wanted, but it wouldn’t change the fact that I was attracted to another man. Or that I felt the same spark of electricity with Tate that I’d only ever felt with my wife. And that in itself was unacceptable to me. Because Revay had no equal…there would never be anyone as good and kind and gentle as she’d been. There’d never be anyone who knew me inside and out like she had, who knew what I needed before I did. And I had absolutely no desire to know someone in the way I’d known her. She had been and still was my other half. No person, man or woman, would ever change that. My body might have some fucked up thoughts about Tate Travers, but my mind was clear. Tate was a means to an end, nothing else.
Liar.
I let out a loud curse and slammed my fist into the bag one last time before I finally gave in to my body’s demand to stop. It took what little energy I had left to stumble to a nearby weight bench and sink down on it. As I used my teeth to loosen one of the boxing gloves on my hands, Ronan moved past me. He was back a moment later with a towel and a bottle of water. I swiped at my drenched hair and face with the towel and then took several pulls on the water. I didn’t look at the other man as I began unwrapping my hands.
“Where are they?” I asked.
“Backyard,” was all Ronan said.
“Did you get the appointment with the oncologist?”
