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I began striding forward, drawn in by the uncertainty in Tate’s eyes.
Because that was the first thing I needed to change.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Tate
I had to remind myself not to squeeze Matty’s shoulders too hard as I watched Hawke stride towards us, his expression unreadable. I’d gone back and forth with myself on whether or not torturing myself with seeing Hawke again was a good idea, but in the end I couldn’t deny my need to lay eyes on him again, even if it was just for a few minutes. But when Hawke didn’t smile or even slow down as he neared us, a terrible fear went through me that I’d made a horrible mistake.
I shook my head as Hawke reached us and said, “Hawke, I’m sorry” but my words were abruptly cut off when Hawke’s lips slammed down on mine. He swallowed my cry of surprise and stole into my mouth as his arms went around me. I recovered quickly and kissed him back, but my heart was pounding frantically in my chest as I struggled to process what was happening.
Hawke released my mouth and clasped my neck between his hands and pressed our foreheads together. “I love you so much, Tate,” he whispered. He leaned in to kiss me again and then his arms wrapped around my shoulders in an almost painful hold. I felt tears threatening as I finally understood what was happening and I curled my arms around his back and just held on to him.
I didn’t think it could get better until he whispered, “Stay with me,” in my ear.
I was too overcome to speak so I just nodded frantically against him, hoping he’d hear my silent answer.
The past three weeks had been an endless struggle from the moment I’d left Hawke’s bed. Matty’s recovery couldn’t have gone any better and I’d been beyond excited that he’d been cleared to leave the hospital for a week, but my joy had been tempered by the fact that my need for Hawke hadn’t dwindled as each day had passed; it had grown and grown into an almost unbearable pain that made even the simplest of tasks a chore. The only time I’d really managed to focus was when the nurses had explained what I would need to do for Matty during the week he was home. Ronan had been by my side as the staff had explained how to change the bandage covering Matty’s central line and the signs to watch for that would indicate any kind of infection. I’d also gotten a rundown of the antibiotics I would need to administer through the central line. I’d been terrified by the prospect of all the things that could go wrong, but one look at my son’s happy face as he’d talked about seeing Bullet again and I’d pushed my fear aside.
And then Matty had started asking if we’d be able to visit Hawke.
I’d explained when I’d gotten back to Seattle that Hawke had had to stay behind so he could keep looking for the bad guys. That had mollified Matty for a few days, but then he’d started asking if we could call Hawke. Luckily, I’d been able to distract him long enough so that he eventually forgot about his request, but even the mention of Hawke’s name would bring a rush of fierce longing and stark fear.
I’d confessed my fear for Hawke’s safety when Ronan had picked me up at the airport and though I hadn’t been one hundred percent clear what kind of professional relationship Ronan and Hawke had, my instincts had told me that Ronan wasn’t the kind of man to sit idly by when one of his friends was in trouble. And I’d been right. That very day, Ronan had told me he was monitoring Hawke’s location and had sent someone to watch Hawke’s back when he went to Laredo.
Only he hadn’t gone to Laredo.
I’d wanted to believe that it was a sign that maybe things could be different for him…for us. That maybe my words the night before I’d left had made a difference. But I’d been too afraid to hope.
Now it was all I felt as Hawke held me against him. I had no idea how long we clung to each other for, but when Hawke put some space between us, I finally remembered Matty and I looked down to see that he’d moved out of the way at some point when Hawke had been holding onto me. I had no idea what to even say to Matty since he’d never seen me act so intimately with another person. But the big grin on his face told me he had no problem with what he’d just witnessed and I guessed it was another thing I had Ronan and Seth to thank for since they were so openly affectionate around one another.
