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“Eli-” I called as I began to follow him.
He didn’t respond, but he shook his head back and forth violently. When he showed no signs of slowing down, I hurried to catch up to him before he reached the longer grass because I knew that it wasn’t unusual for rattlesnakes to be lurking in the overgrown brush. As soon as my fingers wrapped around his arm, Eli turned on me and I was caught off guard when he used one of my own moves against me. Luckily he hadn’t put enough force behind the punch to truly break my nose as intended, but it hurt like a motherfucker. I was glad when he didn’t start walking away again, because I doubted I’d be able to catch him as quickly.
“You’re a fucking coward, Mav!” he screamed. “I get that you don’t want to be with me, but what about your friends?”
“They’re not-”
Eli threw another punch, but I managed to grab his fist before it made contact. “Do you have any idea what I’d give to have what you have?”
“You do,” I said as I eased Eli’s fist down to my chest. “With Dom-”
“No I don’t!” he shouted. “I fucked up any chance of being part of that family a long time ago.”
Eli settled and tugged his hand free. His eyes dropped to study his bruised fist.
“What does that mean?” I asked, but Eli shook his head.
“If it’s me who’s keeping you from going back, then don’t worry. I’m leaving Seattle as soon as I can get my stuff packed.”
I stilled at that. “What are you talking about?”
“It was a mistake to go back there.”
“Why?”
Another shake of his head and Eli was pushing past me. When I grabbed him, he tried to tug free of me, but he didn’t lash out like he had before. “Tell me why.”
“We’re different, Mav,” he said softly. “You didn’t do anything to deserve what they did to you,” Eli said as he motioned back in the direction of town. “I deserve everything I get.”
Frustration coursed through me at the lack of answer, but when Eli’s face went blank a moment later, I knew I wouldn’t get anything else out of him. As soon as I released him, he began walking back towards the car. Once we were back on the road, the exhaustion hit me hard. Coming back to this hell hole had been the hardest thing I’d ever done, second to the moment I’d seen my mother’s lifeless body under that sheet. I hadn’t been at all surprised by my grandfather’s reaction or the fact that he looked exactly like he had twenty years ago. What had surprised me was that I hadn’t felt anything when he’d whispered the slur that I’d heard more times than I could count when I’d been a kid. I hadn’t even felt the need to tell the man to fuck off like I’d wanted to so many times when I was little, but hadn’t had the guts. I’d just wanted to get Eli out of there because I hadn’t wanted any part of my former life touching him.
I glanced at Eli to see that he wasn’t doing anything more than staring at the dashboard of the car. The picture of me and my mom that he’d picked up off the ground was carefully clutched between the fingers of one hand. I wished I could get him to talk to me, but what the hell could I say? Every single thing I’d said and done in the past twenty-four hours had only inflicted pain on him.
Fuck, could I really leave things like this? Could I really watch him get on that plane and never see him again? And what if I did go back to Seattle? Would it change anything if he wasn’t there? Would I accept what I had finally started to believe – that I was finally a part of something that had been denied to me my entire life – only to find that it didn’t meant anything if I couldn’t share it with the one person who had made me actually want something besides my Harley and an open road?
Before I could think on what I was doing too much, I reached for my phone and called the pilot. When he answered I said, “Change of plans. We’ll fly out in the morning.”
“Of course, Mr. James. Just text me what time you’d like to depart and I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Will do,” I said before hanging up. I glanced at Eli, but he didn’t look like he’d even heard what I’d said. We drove for another hour before the exhaustion became too much. It was still early, barely two o’clock in the afternoon, but it didn’t matter if we stopped now or closer to Rapid City. I picked the very next exit that had a motel and pulled off. We’d left the reservation, so the area was a little more populated and there was a small restaurant attached to the motel.
