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“It’s not the same thing – she wouldn’t have left him alone to fuck-”
I put my finger over his mouth to silence him. “What does it matter why she would have left him alone? You’d forgive her because she couldn’t have known what would happen. Dante, you were in a busy mall surrounded by people. You could have just as easily turned your back on him to go to the bathroom or to play one of the arcade games. You were sixteen fucking years old – you were too young to even conceive of something like that happening. Even if you were participating in an adult act like having sex, you were not an adult.”
“It doesn’t change what happened to him.”
“That’s exactly my point,” I murmured. “He’s going to need you to get through this. But if you let your guilt keep you from him, then that is on you.”
Dante shook his head, but didn’t say anything.
“Dante, you’ve spent all these years blaming yourself for what happened. Do you think you’re the only one?”
“What?” he responded, completely confused.
“Aleks was eight, right?” At Dante’s nod, I continued, knowing I was treading on dangerous ground. “Did he know better than to run off on his own-”
Dante’s reaction was immediate and violent as he shoved at me to try and dislodge my hold on him. “Fuck you, Magnus! It wasn’t his fault! He was a kid! He couldn’t have known what would happen!”
I managed to subdue Dante, but it took all my energy and the use of my heavier body to pin him to the bed. “I know that,” I said quickly. “That’s not my point.”
That calmed Dante a little, but he was still breathing heavily and his eyes were clouded with anger.
“Then what the fuck are you saying?”
“Think about it,” I said softly. “You’ve been blaming yourself. Who do you think Aleks has been blaming this whole time?”
Dante was quiet for a moment before he began shaking his head. “No, it wasn’t his fault. He…he’d know it wasn’t his fault.”
“How, baby?” I asked gently. “All he knows is that he didn’t do what you told him. And chances are, the people who took him somehow convinced him to go with them. They probably had some story about you being hurt or whatever…Aleks would have believed them, but when he realized later it had all been a lie-”
“He would have blamed himself for falling for it,” Dante interjected. He’d settled enough that I released my hold on him and eased some of my weight off his body.
We both fell silent. I laid down on my back and wasn’t surprised when Dante tucked himself up against me. “I’m glad you’re here, Magnus,” he murmured.
I began playing with his hair. “Me too.”
I’d expected him to fall asleep since he hadn’t had much rest since we’d left Texas, but minutes passed and I could still feel his fingers stroking over my chest. The contact was relaxing, but just as I was about to nod off myself, I realized there was a pattern to his movements. I smiled when I realized what he was doing.
He was writing letters on my chest with his fingers.
And not just any letters.
They were the letters that made up those three little words he’d promised to say to me one day. My heart sped up in excitement as joy flowed through me. I’d known in my gut that he loved me, but having him say it, even in this way, just made it all the more real. Even if he never found the courage to say the words themselves, I could live a lifetime on seeing the emotion in his eyes and feeling it in his every touch. And while there was a ton of shit we needed to get through with finding Aleks and bringing him home, I knew Dante and I were okay. Yeah, we’d likely have bumps along the way, but he was it for me.
And if the letters on my chest were anything to go by, I was it for him too.
I closed my fingers over his to make sure he knew I’d finally gotten the message, since it had taken me so damn long to pick up on what he was doing. Dante shifted and then leaned over me, his eyes holding mine before he dropped his mouth to mine. The kiss turned heated and my body instantly responded. I moaned when Dante’s hand traveled down my body to close around my cock.
I used my hand to clasp Dante’s cheek and pulled back enough to say, “Are you sure?”
He nodded. “I need you.”
I saw the truth of his words in his gaze, but he didn’t have the same desperation he’d been experiencing the previous night. I kissed him softly before rolling him to his back. His legs opened so I could settle between them and our dicks lined up perfectly. Dante’s hand was trapped between our bodies and he began fisting us at the same time.
