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“The pizza,” he said as he opened both boxes. I managed to snap out of my trance long enough to look at the different options. Each pizza had different toppings on each half. I grabbed a slice of one with just some sausage and pepperoni on it. Cain did the same.
“I would have pegged you for a supreme kind of guy,” I said.
He shook his head. “No, I like things simple,” he said. “What about you?”
I glanced at the pizza. “Pre-Eric, I liked a lot of comfort food and stuff that was convenient just to grab and go. With Eric, it was all salads and protein shakes…lots of organic, healthy stuff.”
“And now?” Cain asked.
“Now, it’s whatever’s available,” I murmured. “But the future? The future’s wide open.”
He smiled at that and the sight had my insides fluttering.
“Potato chips?” he asked.
“Definitely potato chips,” I said with a smile.
We ate in silence for a while. I had to give myself a pep talk when I went to reach for a second slice of pizza, but fortunately I managed to not make it a big thing and Cain didn’t call me on it. I watched Cain pack away a total of four slices before he closed the box and reached for a napkin to wipe at his hands and face.
“You missed a spot,” I said as I pointed to a fleck of sauce at the corner of his mouth. I wanted so badly just to reach out and wipe it away myself, but I held back.
Instead of reaching for a napkin, Cain sat up and shifted until he was just inches from me. “Will you get it for me?” he asked softly, his voice heavy with desire.
Yep, this man was going to be the death of me.
I reached out with my hand, but all I did was gently grab him by the chin. Then I was leaning forward and pressing my lips to the side of his mouth. I heard him suck in a breath when my tongue flicked over the little bit of sauce. His lips were on mine a moment later. The kiss grew heated quickly, but when Cain pulled away from me, I let him go.
“I don’t understand this,” he whispered.
“It’s okay,” I said even as the disappointment flowed through me. “It’s the stress, the close quarters. I know you’re not really attracted to me-”
His lips on mine shut me up, as did the feel of his cock beneath my fingers when he grabbed my hand and placed it on his groin. “You want to tell me again that I’m not attracted to you?” he growled.
I shook my head. When he released my hand, I slowly pulled it away from his lap, though it practically killed me to do it.
“What is it that you don’t understand?” I asked as my eyes met his.
“This…this need I have for you,” he murmured as he reached up to trail his thumb over my bottom lip. “Sex has always been this thing I occasionally wanted, but never needed,” he said softly.
“Have you ever been with a man before? Or been attracted to one?”
He shook his head. “But I honestly can’t say I’ve been particularly attracted to women, either,” he admitted.
“But surely the women you’ve been with-”
“They were escorts,” he interjected. I was momentarily rendered speechless.
“Why?” I finally said dumbly. “You’re so gorgeous, you could have anyone you wanted.”
He dropped his eyes and I instantly felt bad. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to judge.”
“You weren’t,” he said. “It’s a valid question.” He lifted his eyes and said, “I knew any woman I dated would want to touch me, kiss me. I couldn’t let anyone close enough to do that. And I didn’t want to explain why not. Escorts didn’t care…not what position I fucked them in, which was always from behind, and not that they weren’t allowed to touch me. I tried to be with a girl the normal way after…after what happened, but when she put her arms around me, I panicked and pushed her away. She fell to the floor…”
Cain shook his head. “I apologized, but I’d scared her. She never spoke to me again.”
“How old were you?” I asked.
“Sixteen. I couldn’t explain myself or tell her about the attack.”
“Will you tell me about it?” I asked as I reached up to brush my fingers against his temple. He leaned into the touch. Instead of answering me, he reached down and grabbed the pizza boxes and put them on the floor next to the bed. Afterwards, he leaned back against the headboard.
“Can I hold you while I tell you?” he asked.
I was tempted to tell him he never had to ask my permission to hold me, but I held my tongue and instead said, “Where do you want me?”
Chapter Thirteen
Cain
I was worried the nerves would come back when Ethan settled his head on my chest and wrapped his arm around my waist, but thankfully my stomach didn’t rebel at the contact. When I’d asked him to touch me earlier after I’d kissed him for the second time, I hadn’t been sure I’d be able to go through with it. But watching his hands as they’d skimmed over my body with infinite gentleness had been mesmerizing. Yes, there’d been a twinge of fear there, but the need to feel his touch had been greater.
