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“Mine was good, how was yours?” he asked, his voice a little higher than normal. I watched him flip the billfold closed, but before he could slide it to the edge of the table, I put my hand over his to stop him.
“Do you have your phone with you, Levi?” I asked.
He swallowed hard and nodded. My guess was he knew that I knew what he was struggling with.
“Does it have a calculator?”
Another nod. “I…I don’t know how to calculate percentages,” he said softly.
“You don’t need to,” I said. “Take the taxes and double them. So, if the taxes are $2.50, just add 2.5 and 2.5. When you double the taxes, the tip is usually around the fifteen or twenty percent mark. If you want to leave more or less based on the service, just add in a couple bucks or take a couple bucks away.”
Levi held still for a moment. His eyes looked watery, but he didn’t cry. He finally nodded and I removed my hand. He pulled the billfold back and I wasn’t surprised when he had to start all over again and count out the original amount of the bill. Then he dug out his phone and carefully entered the numbers into the calculator app. When he had the amount, he slowly counted that out too and then added a couple more dollars, leaving him with several dollars in his hand.
“Thank you,” he said softly, though he refused to look at me when he said it.
I reached across the small table and forced his chin up. “You’re welcome,” I said. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Levi.”
He pulled free of my hold, but kept his eyes on me. “We should go,” he murmured.
I left the issue alone since I understood he was raw from the embarrassment of it all. We thanked our waitress as we left the diner. “See you boys tomorrow,” she called and then shot us a wink.
A knowing wink.
I smiled at Levi who was blushing. Yeah, he knew exactly what that waitress was thinking. But even though I was smiling on the outside, inside I felt only guilt. Every second I was with Levi, I was lying to him. On top of that, I was lying to Ronan too.
Hell, I was lying to myself.
Thinking I could walk away from this the same man I’d been going in. Even if I was forced to do the unthinkable and take Levi’s life, I wouldn’t be the same. Even if he proved he was the same man he’d been seven years ago when he’d watched Seth being tortured, I’d now seen this other side of him.
The side I didn’t think he was faking.
Once we reached the car, I held the door open for him like I always did, but instead of climbing in, Levi stopped next to me. Suddenly, he turned and put his hand on my shoulder and then he was reaching up to brush his mouth over my cheek in a fleeting kiss. We both hung there for the briefest of moments and I willed him to seek out my lips next. But he didn’t.
Instead, he stepped back a little and sent me a small smile. “Thank you, Phoenix.”
“For what?” I asked. “You paid…I should be thanking you.”
He started to get in the car, but then stopped and looked at me. “For that,” he said, motioning to the diner. His eyes lifted to where my hand was resting on the door. “For this.” He paused. “For everything.”
Fuck, I wanted to grab him and kiss him then and there, not caring who saw us or what it would do to me…or him.
But I settled for, “You’re welcome, Levi.”
He got into the car and buckled up while I closed the door. Even though I’d been driving him home for several days now, he still gave me directions, though I didn’t need them since I’d been driving the damn route for two weeks now as part of my surveillance of him.
Two weeks of lying.
Two weeks of waiting.
Two weeks of utter hell.
I pulled the car to a stop across from his building. I was half-tempted to get out of the car and open the door for him just to delay what little time I had left with him.
“See you later?”
I nodded. “I’ll pick you up at four.”
I was glad when he didn’t argue with me like he had the past few mornings. But unlike the other mornings, he didn’t get out of the car right away. His eyes lifted to meet mine and I saw something there I hadn’t expected I’d ever see.
But it was there, clear as day.
Desire.
Raw and needy.
Just like that, the air around us changed, becoming heavy with electricity. My whole body lit up in anticipation and my cock, which was always half-hard around the young man, began thickening uncomfortably in my pants.
