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“Saving for what?” I asked.
But he shook his head. “Nothing. It’s not important.”
I highly doubted that, but I didn’t say that. “What happened after that?”
“She kept coming back for more money. I got her to agree to lay off the drugs long enough to have the baby and in exchange, I paid her rent and medical expenses. She moved into the same building as me and my dad so I could help her with the pregnancy, and after the baby was born.”
“What did your dad think of that?” I asked.
“He didn’t care. Just told me not to try to shortchange him on my share of the rent for our apartment.” Levi paused long enough to adjust Henry in his arms a bit. “I knew from the moment I held him, that I’d done the right thing,” he said softly as he studied the baby. “I mean, have you ever seen anything so perfect in your entire life?” he whispered as he lifted his eyes to mine.
I took them both in, but didn’t answer him. Because I had seen that kind of perfection…had held it myself. But it was too painful to think about.
“So, you’ve been supporting Dina and Henry this whole time?”
Levi nodded. “Dina works during the day, but she doesn’t make much and she has a tendency to lose jobs not long after she starts them. I babysit Henry at Dina’s apartment from eight until I leave for St. Anthony’s.”
I considered what he was telling me for a moment. I knew enough about his routine to know he worked until five in the morning. If he started babysitting at eight, it meant he only got a few hours of sleep each day. Even if he wasn’t babysitting Henry every day, it was still a brutal schedule.
“What happened today?” I asked.
“I called Dina while you were getting the formula ready. She dropped Henry off with my dad last night because she had a date,” Levi said, the anger in his voice clear. “I’ve told her not to leave Henry with Dad, but if I’m even a little bit late getting to her place to babysit, she does it anyway. Dad’s softened a bit towards Henry, but you saw that he’s not exactly attentive.”
That was an understatement if I’d ever heard one.
“Do you have a place he can sleep?” Levi asked.
I nodded and then went over to him and carefully helped him stand. I ignored the heat that sparked between us at even the minimal contact and motioned to the hallway. “The bedrooms are back here.”
I contemplated where to put Henry for his nap, but the only place that made sense also wasn’t acceptable to me. Mostly because it would mean I’d have to answer questions I didn’t want to. So, when I reached the first door, I turned to Levi and said. “My room is at the end of the hallway. Would you mind waiting in there and I’ll bring a mattress in there that we can put on the floor?”
I could see the curiosity in Levi’s eyes as he nodded and turned away. I waited until his back was to me before I steeled myself and forced my hand to turn the doorknob of the one room in my house that caused me unbearable pain every time I entered it.
Chapter 9
Levi
I shouldn’t have paused and looked back as Phoenix entered the room, but I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t see much…only enough to leave me with more questions than answers.
Pink paint on the walls.
What looked like a tree with all sorts of different colored leaves stenciled on the wall.
A huge stuffed polar bear in the corner.
That was it…but it was enough. Not to mention the fact that Phoenix had looked at the door before he’d opened it like it was the gate to hell.
I walked down to the end of the hallway. The door to Phoenix’s room was already open, so I was able to walk in without having to shift Henry’s weight and disturb his sleep. I was still reeling from the near miss this morning. I was sure my heart had stopped in the moment I’d seen the baby sitting out on that fire escape.
Tears pricked the backs of my eyes as I relived the moment.
Henry was the only reason I was still here. There’d been so many times after I’d gotten out of prison that I’d been tempted to take the entire bottle of sleeping pills my mother had left behind years earlier, but the second I’d learned that Dina was pregnant with my nephew, I’d flushed the pills down the toilet. And as hard as things had been in the year since Dina had shown up on our doorstep, every extra hour I’d had to work, every beating I’d had to endure after I’d been forced to keep living with my father so I could give Dina the money I’d been saving up for my own place had been worth it, because I’d instantly fallen in love with the little boy who’d looked up at me with innocent, trusting eyes.
