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I reached up to grab him by the back of the neck and dragged him down for a kiss. Then I was rolling him beneath me. I kissed him long and hard before I eased off and just sipped at his lips.
“Tell me what you want.”
His dark eyes held mine. “Everything,” was all he said.
My heart leapt into my throat. I knew this was a supremely bad idea, but I also knew I wasn’t going to be the one to stop it. He’d have to do that.
I couldn’t.
I wouldn’t.
I needed this too badly…him. I needed him too badly.
“Let’s go to my room,” I said as I licked over his lower lip before sucking it between my own lips.
Nathan’s hands were on the backs of my arms, so when I went to shift off him, he tightened his grip.
“No, here,” he said. “I want it to be here.”
“Nate-”
“Here, Vincent. Just like this. Please.”
He’d had me at Vincent, but I didn’t tell him that. Instead, I nodded and then I leaned down to seal my mouth over his.
Chapter 15
Nathan
I was scared shitless. There was just no way around it. Because I knew what I was asking for. And there would be no coming back from it.
I hoped that Vincent couldn’t feel the nerves that were threatening to consume me. It was humiliating enough to be the singular person in this encounter who had no clue what to expect. And if it turned out to be anything like the first time I’d had sex with a girl, I wasn’t sure what I’d do.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Vincent murmured against my mouth.
“Noth…nothing,” I stammered.
“You’re shaking like a leaf. And while I’m good, I’m not that good,” he said with a small smile as he placed soft kisses along my jaw.
I doubted that, because I knew part of the reason I was shaking so bad was because of what he was doing to me. Even the mere act of his heavy weight pressing me into the cool, soft grass had all my cylinders firing. Add in the drugging kisses and I was pretty much a goner. If I hadn’t been clueless as to what to do next, I would have jumped him for sure.
His lightness caught me off guard, so I didn’t have time to shore up my defenses.
“I was thinking about my first time.” At his questioning look, I quickly said, “With a girl.”
A light rumble of laughter went through him. “I’m definitely losing my touch.”
It took me a moment to realize what he was saying, and I let out a bark of laughter as I realized what my statement must have sounded like. The humor helped ease some of the tension, and I flopped my head back on the grass and closed my eyes.
“Sorry,” I muttered. “I’m messing this up.”
Vincent suddenly ground his hips against mine, causing our cocks to slide over one another. I let out a sharp moan.
“Unless you tell me to fuck off, I’m not going anywhere.” His fingers skirted through my hair and then he kissed me again. “Talk to me, Nate.”
I sighed. This definitely wasn’t the way I’d thought this would go. With me about to spill the details about one of the most humiliating nights of my life. “When Brody came out to me, he told me what losing his virginity to his girlfriend had been like. He was so upset about it.” Since I didn’t want to get into the details of that night, I bypassed the rest of the conversation I’d had with Brody and said, “What he said stuck with me for a long time. I kept putting off having sex with my high school girlfriend – I always had some excuse– I was too busy with football or some academic event or church obligations. I didn’t actually go through with it until I was in college. Sophomore year. I thought once I got into it more, it would be okay…that my body would start acting…normal.”
I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. “Nothing she did got me…hard. So, she suggested we watch some porn.”
As I spoke, Vincent lifted off me enough so he could put some of his weight on his bent arm. His finger kept stroking up and down my cheek, occasionally straying to my lips. It helped relax me, though I couldn’t look him in the eye as I talked.
“The porn worked, but not for the right reasons.”
“You were watching the guy, and not the girl.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat and nodded. “I made her leave the video running so I could watch…him. It was the only thing that made it bearable.” Tears pricked the backs of my eyes as I said, “Afterwards I finally understood what Brody had been trying to tell me. It felt like I’d been…” I choked back a sob and then Vincent was leaning over me, pressing his forehead against mine.
