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I wasn’t either of those things with Nathan, yet when I’d realized I hadn’t put another condom and packet of lube in my wallet after the previous day’s encounter, instead of stopping the whole damn thing, I’d grabbed a bottle of fucking olive oil, ignored the voice of reason in my head, and buried myself inside his perfect body before he or God or anyone could have stopped me.
And I’d fucking loved it.
Even now I was getting hard just thinking about how good it had felt. How much hotter and tighter he’d felt gripping my dick. The moans that had fallen from his lips, the way the table had creaked under our weight as I’d pinned him to it…
Jesus.
I willed my dick to settle down as I tried to make plans. I’d call Ronan and tell him to get one of his guys to meet me for the hand-off. When Ronan had talked to me earlier this year about Ethan’s broken phone, he’d mentioned having operatives in D.C., Virginia, and Maryland, so any one of them should be able to meet me and take over Nathan’s case.
I ignored the panicked feeling that went through me at the prospect of not having eyes on Nathan anymore.
He wasn’t my responsibility, damn it. He was a fucking favor, nothing more.
A favor that had gone wrong from the second I’d met him.
“Go pack your stuff,” I murmured again, not daring to look at Nathan. I was sure that if I did, I’d be dealing with a repeat of the encounter in the kitchen. Only this time I could finally fuck him in a soft bed.
It shouldn’t have surprised me that instead of following my order, Nathan stomped to my side and grabbed my arm. Hell, I’d pretty much been expecting it.
Because the man never did what he was told.
Unless he was naked beneath me.
“I’m sorry, Vincent,” he said, his voice going calm and even. “I didn’t think about what might be going through your head when I broke that watch. I was thinking about what was going through my head.”
Even though he was standing right in front of me, my mind still went back to the vision that had been tormenting me from the moment I’d received an alert on my phone that his signal had gone offline.
Nathan bound to a chair, blood running down his body and pooling on the floor beneath him. His beautiful head hung with sheets of blood clinging to his light hair.
I’d tried calling, of course, as soon as I’d gotten the alert, but there’d been no answer either from Everett or Nash, who I’d finally agreed to let into my house so that Nathan would have someone protecting him in my absence. It wasn’t that I completely trusted the man, it was that I’d feared for Nathan’s safety more than the prospect of having the armed agent in my home. When they hadn’t answered, I’d checked the security cameras one by one, using my phone, until I’d gotten to the kitchen one which had been dark.
And just like that, it was the room that had become Nathan’s torture chamber.
I’d barely even given much thought to Everett and Nash, because my entire focus had been on what the assailant had been doing to Nathan. Had he been finishing what he’d started with that knife, or had he simply put a bullet in Nathan’s brain and moved on? Or had he taken Nathan somewhere that I’d have no hope of ever finding him?
I’d probably broken every single traffic law getting back to the house at that point. Luckily, I’d only been about an hour from the house and with the speed I’d been going, I’d made it in half that time.
Only to find Agent Nash calmly waiting for me in the driveway.
But even then, I’d needed to see Nathan. My brain had processed what the agent’s presence had meant, but it hadn’t meant a goddamn thing until I’d seen Nathan for myself. And as pissed as I was at Nash and especially Everett, I’d been glad they’d left, because after seeing Nathan, the most important thing had been getting my hands on him.
“You’re not the only one who was scared, Vincent,” I heard Nathan say. “Who is scared.”
“Nathan, go-”
“Right after I realized you’d broken your word about me being an equal participant in this, I started seeing things…”
His voice cracked, and that had me turning to look at him. His eyes were on the ground. “I kept seeing your body on the floor in some fucking motel room in the middle of nowhere, and I knew I was too late.”
“Nathan-”
“And don’t ask me to fucking explain why I even care, since you’re such a complete and total asshole.”
I wanted to smile at that. Not the words themselves, but the way he said them. Like he truly was exasperated by the whole thing. Yeah, well, he wasn’t the only one. I could count on one hand the number of guys I’d been with more than once and I’d only need one damn finger.
