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But I still had to survive the next several weeks, or even months, with him.
That was assuming Reese even allowed me to stick around once he realized what Gage had done.
After I’d jumped to accept Gage’s offer, we’d discussed the fact that Gage would have to tell Reese about the plan before he actually brought him home. Gage, for his part, just wasn’t willing to risk losing Reese’s trust by blindsiding him. He did, however, agree that he’d wait until the hardest part of Reese’s treatment was behind him before he told him what was happening.
It was killing me to know the suffering that Reese had been going through these past couple of weeks and not being able to be there for him through any of it. Reese’s skin graft surgery had gone off without a hitch, and the surgeons had tried to do some of the debridement for the burns on his arms while he’d been under general anesthesia, but there’d been no sugarcoating the agony that he’d still have to endure as his wounds healed.
I hadn’t been able to be with my son to hold him in those pain-filled moments, nor had I gotten to experience the joy-filled ones with him, either. Namely, when he’d started to experience feeling in his feet for the first time. I’d ended up celebrating the news with Nash and Ronan. Shortly after Ronan had told me, he’d left the room so he could call the men on his team who were worried about Reese, and I’d been left with Nash who’d sat next to me and rubbed circles into my back as I’d wept uncontrollably with relief. When my sobs had gotten to be too much, he’d pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around me and told me just to let go.
It was moments like those that told me there was more to Nash than he was willing to let people see.
If things with Nash weren’t already confusing enough, I was also dealing with the unexpected reaction I was having to Gage’s presence. My attraction to Nash had been surprising enough, so I hadn’t been expecting it to happen a second time and with someone who was so very different from Nash. Yes, they were somewhat similar physically, though Gage was a bit more heavily built and had gray hair instead of black. But it was the way they carried themselves and interacted with me that were as different as night and day. Nash was cold, distant, and stiff, whereas Gage was open, relaxed, and always had a smile on his face. I definitely sensed that he could be a dangerous man when he wanted to be, but it wasn’t something that seemed to be tightly coiled inside of him like it was with Nash.
One of the biggest differences between Gage and Nash was how often Gage touched me. I hadn’t noticed it at first, but I’d picked up on it the day he’d invited me to stay at his house during Reese’s recovery. When he’d put his hand over mine in an effort to soothe my restlessness, I’d felt that same spark I experienced whenever Nash touched me.
The same one I’d only ever felt with Pierce.
But unlike Nash, Gage hadn’t acted like touching me was something he should be ashamed of. He wasn’t blatant about it, but if someone else, like Ronan, saw him touching me, he didn’t jerk his hand away. He didn’t pretend it had been some kind of mistake.
I’d started to wonder if the man might be gay, but I’d been disabused of the notion pretty quickly when I’d heard Ronan and Gage talking about Gage’s daughter. It was humiliating to know I’d read more into his affectionate touches, but at least I hadn’t done or said anything to embarrass him.
I wanted to laugh at the reality that I’d somehow managed to find myself attracted to two unattainable men in less than two weeks. My body had practically been in a constant state of sexual hibernation for more than a decade and in the span of fourteen days, I’d found that my libido hadn’t actually dried up like an old prune as I’d suspected. Hell, I’d even started jerking off in the shower.
What would the straight laced and way-too-young-for-me Nash think about that, especially since he’d been co-starring with Gage in all of my fantasies as I’d done it?
And now I was basically going to be spending every day of the foreseeable future with both men.
Not to mention the son who hated my guts.
“Remember, I need to do a thorough check of the house and property before you go inside,” Nash said. I’d decided to sit in the front seat, since I hadn’t wanted it to look like I was being driven around by a chauffeur or something. Nash had started to argue with me that it was against protocol, but I’d politely told him to shove it before I’d buckled my seatbelt.
