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“Great,” Nash muttered as he swallowed a third shot.
“Nash,” I said softly, but he didn’t respond. I thought about what Gage had said and while his words hadn’t made sense to me, I was so damn desperate that I would have tried anything in that moment to get Nash to react to me. “Would you please look at me?”
I heard, rather than saw, Nash drum his fingers on the countertop. Several long seconds passed before he filled the glass for a fourth time and then finally turned to look at me. I did my best to find whatever it was that Gage had been talking about, but all I saw were icy, brittle eyes and a mouth drawn tight with unleashed anger.
My eyes automatically fell to the hand he had wrapped around the glass. The sight of the black and blue marks on his knuckles had me swallowing hard. I hadn’t witnessed the actual fight between Gage and Nash, only the last part when Gage had had Nash pinned to the ground. Between Gage’s bruised face and declaration that he’d pushed Nash too far, I suspected he’d let Nash throw all the punches.
I lifted my eyes again and saw Nash’s mouth pull impossibly tighter. “You satisfied?” he asked.
I wasn’t, but I nodded anyway. All I saw was raw anger. Gage was mistaken if he thought there was anything more there. I wanted desperately to believe that the kindness Nash had shown me right after I’d learned about Reese was who Nash truly was, but I was beginning to believe that the cold, distant man who’d sworn an oath to protect me was the real Nash and whatever demons he was battling were too strong even for him sometimes.
The bruises he’d left on Gage were proof of that. No matter what Gage had done, he hadn’t deserved the beating he’d received. Especially not from someone who was trained to deal with even the most volatile of situations without losing his cool.
Gage’s words came back to haunt me.
The shit that happened to him when he was a kid… no one fucking deserves that.
Nash swallowed down the fourth drink. Since I couldn’t bear to watch him drink himself stupid, I turned away.
And that was when I finally saw it.
It was in that split second as I was turning away and Nash was watching me go. His eyes went from dark and angry to something else.
Something I couldn’t put my finger on, but that had me stopping all the same. As soon as I did, Nash dropped his gaze, then turned back to the bottle.
The next time you see Nash, look at him. Really look at him. No matter what he’s saying, or doing. Just look. And then look some more. At some point, you’ll see it.
“I guess I’ll see you in the morning. We need to leave for the airfield around nine,” I said as I watched Nash carefully.
“Fine.”
“Will we be meeting up with Agent Simmons?” I asked.
Nash didn’t look at me, but he didn’t need to. The truth was in the way his body shifted as he once again drummed his fingers on the counter.
“No. He’s been… reassigned.”
“Another agent, then?” I said.
He still didn’t look at me. “No.”
“Surely you want to take some time for yourself while we’re home,” I offered as I watched him like a hawk.
“Not necessary.”
“I could talk to the director about having Agent Simmons come back here with me. You wouldn’t have to put up with Gage anymore… or me.”
“No.”
It wasn’t the word itself, but the way he said it that had something lighting up inside of me. Could Gage be right? Was it possible that Nash was interested in me as more than just his latest assignment?
Yeah, because you’re such a catch that you’ve got two gorgeous guys after you.
I forced myself to ignore the cruel inner voice.
“I’m sure Simmons wouldn’t mind—”
“He doesn’t like to travel,” Nash cut in, his voice growing angrier.
“Someone else, then,” I offered.
Nash let out a rude snort and then looked at me. I expected him to be pissed, and he was, but there was something else there too.
Frustration, maybe?
Irritation?
I tried to put my finger on what emotion I was seeing, but it continued to elude me. “I could just follow through on declining protection and then it wouldn’t be an issue anymore,” I offered.
As Nash barked out a swift, “No,” I finally realized what the emotion was.
Desperation.
Holy fuck, Gage had been right. How had I never seen it before? And what else had I missed? I’d only ever heard Nash’s words, but I’d never thought to look at what was behind them.
Maybe I was wrong… maybe I was reading into something that wasn’t there because Gage’s words had planted the seed.
But what if he wasn’t wrong? What if Nash was interested in me? Where did that leave me? I was too old for him, of course. Not to mention I was still as drawn to Gage as I’d been from the moment I’d met him, more so, even. Last night had been proof of that.
