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“He’s not what you think he is,” Reese murmured. “He’s got you snowed. Just like everyone else.”
“Everyone else? You mean the public?”
Reese nodded. “The guy you think you know doesn’t exist. That bullshit he sells everyone about honesty and integrity and family values – that’s not him. It was all part of the job.” Reese removed his hand from the wheel and settled it in his lap. I saw him wince and couldn’t help but wonder if he’d taken his pain pills. I reminded myself I shouldn’t give a shit either way. The guy was a prick.
“Fine, why don’t you tell me who he really is.”
Reese shook his head and remained silent.
“How about I tell you about the man I know?” I suggested. I stepped closer to him and said, “I see a guy who was forced to live a lie for his entire goddamn life. I see a guy who wasn’t allowed to admit that he wasn’t perfect. I see a guy who finally found himself after decades of being told that he couldn’t be that person. Only by the time he was free to do anything about it, it was too damn late. I see a guy who has found comfort in the only places he thinks he deserves – with a bunch of flowers and a television set that lets him escape his cold, fucking lonely world for a bit.”
I could sense my growing agitation with each word, so I took a deep breath and held it for a moment. Unfortunately, I wasn’t feeling much calmer when I spoke again. “He dropped everything to come out here, even knowing you wouldn’t accept him. He sat in that fucking conference room in the hospital nearly every minute of every day in case you needed him. He’s defended your behavior to anyone who’s even hinted that you’re being a spiteful little prick,” I snapped. “That should be worth something,” I added. “Yeah, so he wasn’t father of the fucking year when you were a kid. Stop looking at him through the same glasses that everyone else does. He was your father first, long before he had to become someone else to the outside world. You’re goddamn lucky to have had that.”
Reese didn’t respond, so I turned to go. I reached the back door and opened it, then glanced at the other man again. “You have any idea what I’d give to be in your shoes?” I asked.
The comment had Reese looking at me sharply.
“It could have been any one of us, Reese. Getting hurt like you did comes with the job. We both know that. But at least you’ll always have someone who drops everything to be by your side. Who tells God in those moments when he doesn’t know if you’re okay or not that he’ll do anything if God lets you live, even give up his own life. We don’t all get that. Some of us don’t even get to know the name of the father who will never show up. So yeah, Reese, maybe you got a raw deal. But at least your father fucking showed up.”
I didn’t wait for a response, because I knew there wouldn’t be one. I kept my walk-through quick, though I did wave at Charlie where she lay in her bed as her grandfather sat in a nearby chair reading to her. I urged Happy to stay with them before I went back downstairs. I didn’t see Gage as I left the house.
Which meant he was probably still with Everett.
Despite the fact that it meant I’d have to confront what I’d done, the thought of finding the two men together had me quickening my step. The guest house was dark when I entered, with nothing but the light above the stove to guide my way. I hurried up the stairs, anticipation twisting in my belly as I considered that both men could very well be wrapped around each other in Everett’s bed.
The thought should have bothered me, but it didn’t. It turned me on. I should have also been worried that they might see what I was about to do as an intrusion. But I didn’t care about that, either. I wanted to rip the Band-Aid off. I wanted to see what happened next. No, none of it made sense, but I’d spent most of my adult life trying to make everything fit into all the right boxes. Career, money, personal life... up until the scandal that had threatened to tank my career, everything had been perfectly on track. And what Everett had done with the director had catapulted me right back there.
But while I should be celebrating my victory or worrying about potentially losing it all if the director found out I’d lied to him, I wasn’t thinking about any of that.
