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Magnus put his hand on my back and sent me a nod before leaving me and Aleks alone. As I entered the room, Aleks said, “I just gave her a bottle and burped her. I hope that’s okay.”
I nodded. “Of course, thank you.”
Aleks shifted nervously. “She’s a really good baby,” he offered.
“She is,” I agreed. I couldn’t help but think he almost seemed reluctant to give her up. I couldn’t say I blamed him.
“You didn’t want to go to the birthday party?” I asked, more to give Aleks a few more minutes with Willa than anything else.
“Crowds aren’t really my thing,” he murmured. “I know I need to push myself a bit more, but a party for twelve seven-year-olds?” He smiled and shook his head.
I wasn’t sure what he’d meant by pushing himself more, but I suspected it had to do with his past. Knowing he’d gone through what Maggie had, but for even longer, broke my heart. But I knew he probably didn’t want my pity.
“I didn’t like those parties when I was seven,” I said. “So I hear ya.”
Aleks relaxed a bit more, then stepped forward and handed Willa to me. He looked a lot like his older brother, though he had short hair while Dante’s was long like Jace’s. I knew both brothers were of Brazilian descent, but that was all I really knew. I guessed Aleks to be a little older than me.
Willa gurgled and sent me a lopsided smile as I took her from Aleks. The tightness I’d been feeling in my chest eased.
“It’s incredible, isn’t it?” I whispered. “Those eyes…”
I shifted my gaze to Aleks and he nodded. “Makes everything else go away for a bit.”
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s it exactly.”
A look of sadness passed over Aleks’s features, but he masked it by dropping his eyes. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone.”
“Or you could stay,” I suggested. “I don’t know the first thing about kids and everyone’s always talking about how you have a way with them.”
Aleks seemed reluctant, but there was also something in his eyes that looked a lot like longing. He finally nodded. “If you’re sure,” he said.
I nodded. There was a minute or two of awkward silence as we got settled on the floor. I held Willa while Aleks pretended to attack her with the panda, which had Willa making all sorts of cooing noises. Our conversation was stilted at first, but by making Willa the focus of it, it got easier and easier, and as she fell asleep in my arms, we started talking about other things.
Simple things.
And as we talked, things began to fall in place and my mind felt less and less jumbled.
It was a good hour before Eli came to check on us. Aleks helped me to my feet. I surprised him when I handed Willa back to him. “Do you think you can watch her for a while longer?”
“Yeah, sure,” he said, slightly confused.
I turned to Eli who seemed equally confused. “Don’t you want to take her home?” he asked.
“I need to do something first.” I pushed past him and went to the living room. As expected, I found Mav there. He got to his feet when he saw me.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“No,” I said. “But it will be. I need you to take me to see my father.”
They were putting me in the same room with him.
I hadn’t been expecting that.
I’d assumed there’d be a pane of plexiglass separating us and we’d have to talk through phones.
Clearly, I’d watched way too much television.
The guard who’d explained the rules to me wasn’t the same one who was going to bring my father into the room, but both he and the guard with my father would stay to monitor us.
A fact I was supremely grateful for.
Because even though I was determined to do this, I was still scared shitless.
The guard had explained that because my father needed to be kept separate from the other inmates for his own protection, it would just be us in the room, despite there being several tables and chairs available so multiple visits could happen at once. I hadn’t asked why my father was being kept separate, though I had a pretty good idea. I had a feeling the crime shows I’d seen had gotten the part about suspected child molesters not doing well in prison right.
I hadn’t been allowed to take my phone into the room with me, so I had to use the clock on the wall to check what time it was. By now Jace probably knew where I was, since I’d asked Mav only to wait to call him when he was sure Jace wouldn’t be able to get to the prison before us to stop me. I’d have a lot of explaining to do to Jace, but I was prepared for it.
