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I knew I was being ridiculous, but it wasn’t the baths that I missed so much as it was the normalcy they represented. It had taken me a lot of years to find a sense of peace in my life that I hadn’t really even realized was absent, but now that it was gone, I was filled with regret that it had taken me so long to recognize it.
I shoved the thought away because if I’d learned anything, it was that life was too short for regrets.
I left the bathroom and made my way back to Ryan’s room to check on him one more time and to triple-check the house yet again to make sure it was locked up tight. I was tempted to try and sleep in the armchair in Ryan’s room but it was a habit I just shouldn’t start. If I wanted Ryan to feel safe in our home, I needed to prove I felt that way too.
Even if I didn’t.
I slowed my steps as I neared Ryan’s room so I wouldn’t inadvertently wake him up. I wasn’t wearing shoes but many of the floorboards beneath my feet were prone to creaking. I’d learned that in the early days when I’d brought Ryan home. Thankfully, he was now a much heavier sleeper, the past week’s events notwithstanding.
I was so focused on watching where I stepped that I didn’t see the looming figure standing at the foot of my son’s bed at first. When I did, I let out a shout of fear and leapt forward. I recognized Matias a split second before I barreled into him.
His arms came up to grab mine as I practically fell into him.
The relief was instantaneous, but my adrenaline was still off the charts. “What the—”
Matias covered my mouth with his hand. “You’ll wake him,” he said.
Was he joking? I’d wake my kid? That was the problem he saw with all of this?
I was about to tell him as much when his eyes met mine and something incendiary flashed between us. Just like that, my body got over the scare and used the adrenaline in my bloodstream to energize a completely different part of my body.
God, not again, I moaned silently to myself. I yanked myself free of Matias’s hold and opened my mouth to lay into the man when Ryan’s soft little snore caught my attention. I glanced at my son, then at Matias before jabbing my finger in the direction of the door.
When Matias reached me, I said in a hushed but what I hoped was stern whisper, “What the hell are you doing here?”
Matias actually stepped closer to me. My back hit the doorjamb when I stepped back. I wasn’t technically trapped because Matias wasn’t touching me, but he might as well have chained me to the wall. I swallowed hard as he braced his arm on the wood just above my head. I swore that he leaned in a little and inhaled deeply.
Even if I was imagining that part, my dick most certainly didn’t care.
“Matias,” I reminded him in my best I’m-a-mature-father-of-two voice. It still came out sounding like a squeak.
“He dropped his toy.”
“What?” I asked. Did I sound as breathless as I felt?
“Your kid dropped his toy. The zebra thing.”
“ZeeBee?” I asked as I looked in the direction of Ryan’s bed. The stuffed zebra was still in his arms but not in the same position it’d been in when I’d kissed him good night. Had Matias actually returned the stuffed animal to Ryan’s arms? “You put it back?” I asked in disbelief.
“He was upset.”
When he didn’t expound on that statement, I said, “Jesus, Matias, you probably scared him half to death! He won’t remember you from the other night—”
Something in Matias’s expression went dangerously hard and forbidding, causing me to cut off my words abruptly. But he didn’t reach for me or lash out in any kind of way. Instead, he straightened and put several feet of space between us. I was left both oddly forlorn and completely confused.
“He wasn’t awake,” Matias answered, then he turned and walked away.
Just like that.
No explanation, no emotion, no nothing. He was there turning my world on its head again one second and gone the next.
And instead of letting him go, I ran after him.
“Wait,” I called. I got to him just as he reached the kitchen door that led into the backyard. I actually put my body between him and the door. “Just wait,” I huffed as I tried to catch my breath. The adrenaline was leaving my system in a rush and making me light-headed. I ended up leaning heavily against the door.
For all of five seconds.
Because that was how long it took for Matias’s fingers to close around my upper arm so he could lead me to the kitchen table. “Sit,” he muttered.
