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If that hadn't been bad enough, when Cruz and Elliot had come to my apartment the night I’d abruptly left town and I’d learned they were going to Sam's house for movie night, I'd all but invited myself to go with them.
And I’d loved every moment of that night. The only part that had made that familiar restlessness crawl beneath my skin had been the mere fact that I hadn't been able to touch Sam like I'd wanted. Watching him enjoy his children had left me with a sense of longing I still didn't really understand. I'd been waiting eagerly for the hours to go by so I could get Sam alone and show him how much I hated not being able to put my hands on him whenever I wanted, but then my phone had beeped and the present had ceased to exist. I'd gotten nothing more than a vague location on a possible sighting of Bishop from a random contact and that had been it. My entire brain had shifted and focused in on the hunt. Of extinguishing the threat to my brother and the people who were becoming a real family to him.
"Yes," I repeated firmly. There were a lot of things I wasn't certain about, but I knew one thing for sure. Sam had feelings for only one man and that man wasn't me. Even if I'd wanted to, I wouldn't have known how to compete with Mac’s memory.
"Then explain to me why Sam has been running Internet searches on you."
"What?" I asked in surprise.
"Not just on you, but on how to report a missing person anonymously."
I shook my head in disbelief. Had he really done that? Had he tried to find out more information about me? Why? It made no sense. "How do you know all this?" I asked.
"You and I made a deal when you and your brother came on board. I'm keeping up my end. You may not want my help in finding the man who hurt Cruz, but that doesn't mean I'm not looking. You and I both know that while you’re hunting Bishop, he's hunting you. It's just a matter of who gets the upper hand first. I have Daisy monitoring any searches related to you and Cruz. Your name popped up on a Google search a couple of weeks ago. She traced it back to Sam's computer."
"Fuck," I muttered.
"Yeah," Ronan said, his voice full of irritation. "If she was watching, it's possible Bishop was too. Daisy did her best to remove the evidence, but there's no telling what Bishop might've seen."
"Where is Sam?" I repeated, my fear now a new, living, breathing thing. The idea that while I'd been out hunting Bishop, he could've just as easily been hunting me and finding Sam and Ryan, made me violently ill and it was all I could do not to empty the contents of my belly then and there.
"He’s safe. I have men on him. Him and Ryan."
"And Cruz?"
"Your brother and Elliot used my jet to fly to Miami a couple of days ago. I have men watching them, but Cruz doesn't know about any of this yet. I figured it would be better coming from you. Of course, it's just a matter of time until he realizes I've got guys shadowing him and Elliot. I suspect the only reason he hasn't already figured it out is because he's dealing with some heavier shit."
I nodded. I already knew why he’d gone to Miami. That was where our parents lived. It was information overload and I had no clue where to start. The most important thing was that everyone was safe. At least for now.
"Where is Sam?" I asked again. The helplessness I was feeling was doing a number on my head. I knew I needed to be satisfied with Ronan's word that Sam and Ryan were safe, but I wouldn't believe it until I saw them for myself.
It wasn't that I didn't trust Ronan.
It was that I needed Sam. I needed to touch him and talk to him. I needed to hear his voice and see his smile.
Ronan stared at me for a moment and then reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He hit a couple of buttons on it and then put it on speaker.
"Yeah?" I heard a man say.
"Marek, do you have him?" Ronan asked.
"Yes. He dropped the kid off—"
"Ryan," I interjected. "His name is Ryan."
I avoided the look of surprise Ronan shot me and kept my eyes on the phone. There was a brief pause and then Marek, a guy I knew more by reputation than anything else, murmured, "He dropped Ryan off at a classmate’s house. Looked like there was a birthday party happening or something. Wittier is on the move. South of the city."
"Who's got eyes on Ryan?" Ronan asked.
