Page 72 of Watch Me


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By the time my mother had signed off on my kitchen cleaning duties that had felt like more of a stall tactic than anything else, a good twenty minutes had passed. I made my way to the living room, fully expecting to see Jude tucked away in a corner somewhere as my sister presented him with the Nikolai’s-most-embarrassing-moments reel.

But I heard nothing but silence as I pushed open the swing door in the living room. There was a strange amount of tension on the door as it moved. I put a little more force behind opening the door and then heard a bunch of shouts and laughter.

What the hell?

I stepped into the room just in time to see a large marble fly past my feet.

“It worked!” Nattie called from the couch. I glanced in that direction and saw Maks lying on the couch, a blanket tossed over his legs. Natalia and Elena were on the other end and sitting in the middle was Jude. In his hand was a bag of marbles.

Jude looked at Maks and asked, “Again?”

Maks nodded. I could tell the little boy wasn’t feeling his best because he was quieter than usual. He often had trouble after eating.

Jude handed Maks the marble and then helped the little boy sit up so he could place the marble on the windowsill behind the couch.

"Again, Uncle Nikolai!" Nattie called. All eyes fell on me and then Jude was motioning to the door behind me. I turned to see that there was some kind of string attached to the handle of the door. I followed the length of the string which went to the opposite side of the room and disappeared behind the couch. It took me a moment to realize what I was looking at.

At first glance, it looked like there were strange items randomly strewn all over the living room. Books where they didn't belong, some kitchen utensils, even pieces of a broken blind that had been sitting in the corner of the room for months. The items had all been fashioned together in a way that they formed some kind of track.

I did as the kids asked and pulled the swing door toward me. I heard clicking and sliding as one thing activated another. I turned to see the marble Maks had placed behind the couch go racing through the impromptu track that included a couple of loops that had the marble going upside down. The kids cheered as the marble went over and beneath different household objects before racing down a steep ramp that sent it flying past my feet.

As Maks, Elena, and Natalia cheered, my eyes lifted to meet Jude's. He had a grin on his face. But as soon as he caught me looking at him, the smile faded and he dropped his eyes.

"Look what Jude did," Nattie called. The little girl scrambled over to me and began explaining all the different obstacles Jude had built with everyday items. "Maks’s tummy was hurting again so Jude built him a—"

Nattie stopped mid-sentence and looked at Jude expectantly.

"Racetrack," Jude supplied for her. This time, he lifted his eyes and held my gaze as Nattie continued telling me all about the racetrack.

"Okay, nap time," Elena announced. Both children immediately began to moan and groan, but my sister ignored them and said, "Say goodbye to Jude."

My heart swelled as I watched the kids both give Jude the kinds of hugs that they usually only reserved for family. Jude held himself stiffly at first, but when he was patting the kids’ backs, I heard him tell Maks to feel better soon. There was a flurry of activity as Elena picked Maks up and herded Nattie from the room. When they were gone, it was just me and Jude. He seemed nervous as he began picking up some of the items that he'd used to make the racetrack.

"Leave them," I said. "I'm sure the kids will want to play with it later."

"I didn't use anything that seemed valuable," Jude murmured. As I closed the distance between us, he clearly became more agitated and began running his fingernails over the inside of his forearm. “Maybe I should shorten it so we’re not using your mother's kitchen stuff. And I don't want your father to trip over anything—"

"Jude," I said as I reached him and put my hands on his arms to keep him from continuing to nervously scratch at his own skin. "Thank you," I said softly when I had his attention. "We haven't heard Maks laugh like that in a long time."

Jude stopped shifting his weight nervously back and forth. I wanted to believe it was my touch that was soothing him. He nodded and said, "You're welcome. You have a great family, Nikolai."

"That I do," I agreed.

I turned and led Jude from the room. He was quiet as we made our way back to my apartment. It wasn't until we were back in my own private space that his agitation seemed to return. I had just closed the door behind me when he suddenly blurted, "Nikolai, I'm sorry about this morning. Or this afternoon. Or whatever time it was when we woke up. I shouldn't have…"

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