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Somehow, I’d found the courage to keep moving forward, and as I’d gotten closer to the barn, I’d seen movement. There'd been a figure kneeling on the ground next to a body. The glow from the flames had lit up the face of the young man I’d become so fascinated with.
At first, I’d just been so relieved to see Xavier alive and safe. But as I’d approached him and called his name, he’d looked up at me and I hadn't understood his expression. I’d wanted him to tell me he was okay, that everything was okay. Tears of pure joy at knowing he was still with me had been streaming down my face. But he’d offered no words of comfort. Instead, he’d risen shakily to his feet, stared at me for a moment, then turned and run. It was then that I’d looked at the body on the ground.
My father's body.
I hadn't understood what I was seeing at first. I’d barely recognized him beneath all the soot that had covered his face and blackened his clothes. Even after I’d dropped to my knees next to him, I'd been afraid to touch him, to speak to him, for fear that if I did any of those things, he wouldn't have responded. I’d finally whispered his name and touched his shoulder. As tough as things had been with him, he was my father and I’d loved him and I’d been afraid for him. But then he’d opened his eyes, started coughing, then kept repeating one name over and over.
Xavier's name.
Even long after other people had started showing up, I still hadn't understood what had happened. I’d tried making excuses for Xavier, but there’d been no way to explain his behavior. He'd run. When the police had arrived at the hospital to question my father, I'd had to listen to the horrible truth, though I'd already figured out what it was. Xavier had set the barn on fire with the intention of killing my father. I'd dared to ask my father why Xavier would've done such a thing, and he’d looked at me like I was the most foolish human being on the planet.
“Because he's a criminal.”
That was all my father had said. And when Xavier had been arrested the next morning, he hadn't denied it. There'd been a trial, but I hadn’t attended it. It hadn't mattered to me because by then the truth had really sunk in. I’d brought Xavier into our lives; I’d convinced my father to give him a job. My father had nearly died because of my obsession with the young man who’d turned out to be everything the town of Eden had said he was.
A bad seed.
A troublemaker.
"Everybody deserves a second chance, son," Uncle Curtis said. "And that's all I have to say about that."
I sighed and shook my head. "I need more than that. I know you and Dad never got along, but to bring that man back into our lives…"
"It ain't our lives, son. It's my life," Uncle Curtis replied. "Don't you go thinking that I don't know why you're here. Your mama always did like to stick her nose in my business. I never could say no to her either." Uncle Curtis winked at me. It was proof that he wasn't angry about my showing up, but his comment about it being his life made it clear that his mind was made up about Xavier.
"You saw what he did to me," I said as my hand automatically went up to my throat. Uncle Curtis dropped his eyes and nodded his head sadly.
"I also saw you jump the man, Brooks. What he did wasn't right, but what you did wasn't either." He was silent a moment before adding, "Prison done change that boy. But that ain't who he is. Just like this"—Uncle Curtis motioned to me—"ain’t who you are."
His comment stung a little… okay, a lot. He'd always been so accepting of me, but maybe I'd gotten that wrong too. Just like I'd gotten things wrong about Xavier.
My uncle’s hand covered mine once again and he gave it a squeeze. "Now don't you go thinking I don't love you just the way you are, Brooks. We both know you been hiding a lot of things you think your daddy might not like about you. You don't have to hide here, son. Lots of the men who call this place home think they have to be someone different than who they really are. Just take some time to figure out the truth."
His words were comforting but confusing at the same time. But maybe it wasn't his words that were confusing, but the realization that they were true. It was all just too much. I'd come here to make sure his business was okay, that he was okay. Nothing more. I didn't need to find myself or fix my life. Things were fine just the way they were. I'd achieved everything I set out to do. That was who I was.
