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The thought of something like that happening to Brooks, my Brooks, had me striding to my truck. I didn't care what anyone thought of me for what I was about to do. I didn't care what Brooks thought of me. I just needed to make sure he was safe.
The drive to Casper seemed like the longest few hours of my entire life. The bar and motel parking lots were packed. I could see several couples and even some small groups of men and women alike loitering outside of the motel room doors. Country music blared from the speakers inside the bar. I circled twice looking for a place to park, but there was nothing and even the street spots were jam-packed. I checked the motel parking lot again and felt sick when I saw Brooks's Range Rover sitting in the parking lot.
I pulled my truck in perpendicular behind the SUV, not caring that I blocked in several other cars in the process. I climbed out of the truck and went to the room the SUV was parked closest to. I slammed my fist on the door and waited, then tried the knob when there was no answer. I then began knocking on the doors to the right and left of the room. I was greeted by angry patrons who were clearly in the midst of their own brand of fun based on their state of undress, but that didn't stop me from stepping into the rooms to see if Brooks was the party they were having fun with.
He wasn't.
I debated whether I should check the rest of the rooms of the motel or the bar itself. The bar seemed easier, so I hurried to it and practically yanked the door open. People grumbled at me as I pushed past them. The place was dark except for the dance floor, which was lit up by a series of neon lights above the dancers.
Although dancers was a generous term. Basically, it was just a bunch of guys and girls grinding against each other.
I circled the crowd once, then twice, then checked out the bar. I was about to lean across the crowded bar to ask the bartender if he'd seen Brooks when I heard what sounded like an ungodly screech. I turned and saw a brightly dressed young man throwing his arms up in delight, apparently elated about the new song that was starting. He was wearing gold pants that might as well have been glued onto his slim body, and his silver shirt reminded me of one of the old-fashioned disco balls that places like these used to have. As outlandish as his outfit was, he was clearly popular because he was surrounded by men who were all trying to grind up against him. But the guy already had his pick, and when I realized who his pick was, I saw only red.
Sparkly Guy threw his arms around Brooks and smiled wide as he began doing what looked like a lap dance, only standing up. His hips undulated against Brooks's for several beats, and then Sparkly Guy lowered himself until his mouth was level with Brooks's crotch. The guys around Brooks and Sparkly Guy hooted and hollered at the show, but Brooks looked uncomfortable. But that didn't stop him from letting Sparkly Guy pull his arms around him.
"Hey, buddy, did you want a drink?" the bartender asked me.
I hadn't come here to drink, but it was exactly what I wanted at the moment. Besides the obvious. But if I went to Brooks right now, I'd probably kill the little sparkly man who was hanging all over him. I wasn't even sure what I’d ordered until I drank the shot down. The whiskey burned my throat, but I didn't care.
Sparkly Guy chose that moment to pull Brooks’s head down for a kiss. I was moving forward long before the guy’s lips touched Brooks's, and someone blocked my view just before the two men made contact. I shoved my way through the crowd. By the time I reached Sparkly Guy and Brooks, they were slow dancing, their bodies pressed against one another intimately. Brooks looked so content that my rage changed to something else entirely. All I could do was stand there and stare at him. The betrayal was keener than any I’d felt as a kid when he hadn't come to see me after I’d been arrested.
The music went on around me and I could feel guys pressing up against me, trying to entice me into a dance, but all I could do was stare at Brooks. I felt a sharp pain go through my hand, but I didn't even look down. I couldn't take my eyes off of Brooks and the way he held on to the smaller man. It looked all wrong, but right somehow too. Wrong because the guy he was holding wasn't the one for him. But right because Brooks finally looked at peace. There was no mask, no trying to be someone he wasn't. He was just enjoying the moment. I hated Sparkly Guy even more because he had given Brooks something I couldn't. Something I'd never be able to give him.
