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"No," I said firmly before the man even finished speaking. "I'm going."
Before Flynn could argue with me like I could tell he wanted to, Uncle Curtis said, "You said he didn't head back down, right?"
"That's right. I lost the trail as it was still heading up."
"I think I know where he's going," Uncle Curtis murmured.
"You know where Xavier is going?" I asked.
Uncle Curtis shook his head. "Not Xavier. Grover."
Uncle Curtis's hunch turned out to be right. The rays of the sun were just starting to come up over the trees when we reached the small cemetery. I spotted Grover quickly, because the horse was standing by one of the grave markers. But I didn't see Xavier. I opened my mouth to call for him when a flash of color caught my eye. Farther up the hill just above the cemetery, I could see Xavier sitting with his back against a tree. I practically fell off Buttercup as I hurried to dismount and ran up the few hundred feet that it took to reach him.
He didn't react to my presence when I dropped down to my knees in front of him. His eyes were open and he was breathing, but it was like he didn't see me. "Xavier," I whispered as I reached for his face to caress his cheeks. His skin was cold, but when I touched him, he flinched. I half expected him to attack me, but then it was like his eyes came into focus and settled on mine.
"You left," he whispered. "You left me again. Why do you keep leaving me, Brooks?"
The way he said it felt like he was tearing my heart from my chest. "I didn't—"
"You did. I waited for you. They put me in that jail cell, but you didn't come. No one would believe me when I said that you would come to see me. That you’d make it so I could go home."
Xavier shifted his gaze from me and stared at the cemetery below, but I wasn't sure if he was truly seeing it or not. The idea that he’d been waiting for me while he'd been in jail made me want to die. Never in a million years had I even considered that he’d want to see me. It was another cruel truth that I wasn't sure I could take.
"I didn't know, Xavier. I didn't know about any of it," I admitted. "When I saw you standing over my father, I thought the worst and I shouldn't have." My throat clogged as I choked out, "I'm so sorry, my love."
I began to cry, but when Xavier reached out to touch my face, all I could do was cry harder. I’d betrayed this man and hadn't even known it. I'd wanted to refuse to believe that he was capable of such a terrible crime, but I’d thought I'd had the facts when I’d accepted that he was. I hadn't been able to see beyond those. If I’d just looked harder, if I'd gotten past my own hurt and feelings of betrayal, I would've realized that something was wrong.
"Don't cry, baby," Xavier said softly. "Please, Brooks, don't cry."
I let out an ugly laugh. This man was so much better than me, so much better than anyone I knew. I'd hurt him in so many ways and yet he was trying to comfort me.
"I should've come for you," I whispered. "I shouldn't have believed what everyone told me. He said you did it. He said you attacked him and that you burned the barn down. I knew in my heart that it wasn't possible but when I saw you standing over him…" I looked at him and admitted, "I should've followed my heart, and not my head. I'm so sorry, Xavier. I'm so sorry for so many things. I love you so much."
I wanted his forgiveness, but I had no right to ask for it.
I knelt there in the dirt at his feet and wept for my own stupidity at the same time that I wept for Xavier and everything he'd been through because of me and my family. I felt him draw me forward into his arms. His legs were on either side of me and he just held me against his chest for what could have been hours. I didn't care. I just didn't want him to let me go.
He stroked my hair and ran his fingers along the back of my neck, then he kissed my forehead. I was shaking violently as I waited for him to say the words that I was too late, that I'd caused him too much pain. He settled his mouth against my ear, but when the whispered words came, I wasn't ready for them.
Not even a little bit.
Chapter 22
Xavier
"What?" Brooks cried as he pulled out of my hands and stared at me in disbelief. His sobs started all over again when he said “What” again, this time with even more shock.
