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But what to do with Newt?
I glanced at the farmhouse behind me.
Nolan and Dallas had been incredibly generous to let me and Newt spend the night with them, especially after what I’d done to Nolan. And fuck if it hadn’t been incredible to sleep in a real bed rather than a sleeping bag. But could I really push my luck by asking them to babysit Newt for me for a few hours?
Did I even want to?
They seemed kind and good with kids–hell, I’d even walked in on them playing cars with Newt this morning. But what if they questioned Newt while I was gone? And as much as Newt knew we couldn’t trust strangers, his natural inclination was to find the good in people, and he’d warmed up to Dallas and Nolan pretty quickly. It wouldn’t take much for them to get him to tell them things they didn’t need to know.
But what choice did I have?
I needed money.
Period.
My belly rolled uncomfortably as I pulled up the map on my phone and searched out a motel that was within walking distance but wasn’t too skeevy. Once I found one, I quickly typed out an ad and included a picture of myself. I submitted it before I could change my mind. Part of me hoped nothing would come of it, but the other part of me was afraid what would happen if nothing did.
“Isaac, I got to see a bear!” I heard Newt shout, and I looked up to see him hurrying toward me. Dallas and Nolan were walking behind him, hand in hand. I felt a pang of envy go through me. Not only because of how they were clinging to each other, but the way they were smiling at Newt.
Like he was their kid or something.
Tears stung the backs of my eyes as I imagined Newt in a world like this. Where he’d have no worries and he’d have people who could give him not only what he needed, but what he wanted too. But instead, he was being dragged all over the country by someone who couldn’t guarantee him anything and had to sell his own ass just to give him the basics.
You had no choice.
I wanted to scoff at the inner voice. I’d had a choice. I’d just been a selfish dick who’d believed Newt was better off with me than anyone else.
I glanced at the shit in the back seat.
“Better off, right,” I whispered.
“Isaac, he was bigger than Kenai!” Newt shouted as he came barreling at me. I smiled at the reference to Brother Bear, one of Newt’s favorite movies after the Cars ones.
“Oh yeah?” I said as I caught him in my arms when he reached me. I gave him a good squish and said, “Do you think he’s really a boy like Kenai was?”
“Nuh-uh,” Newt said with a shake of his head. “He’s a real bear. Dallas said so.”
Newt suddenly leaned in and whispered, “Dallas can’t talk but Nolan knows what he’s trying to say. But you gotta look at Dallas, even if Nolan’s talking, ’cause it’s ’olite.”
“Polite,” I said with a smile. “I’ll remember.” I was so proud of my brother and the compassion he inherently showed others. As much as I tried to make sure he knew his manners, his goodness came from deep inside him. On the one hand, it sometimes made him more sensitive to things, which could work against him, but I wouldn’t have changed it. It was a quality he shared with our mother, and while I’d watched people take advantage of her over the years, I’d vowed I’d never let anyone do that to Newt, no matter what. If I had my way, he’d never have some asshole telling him he needed to toughen up or take things like a man.
“Isaac,” Newt said as he grabbed each side of my face, a move he only did when he was deeply serious.
Well, as deeply serious as any four-year-old could be.
“I gotta save Loki, ’kay?” he said.
“I understand, Newt, but there’s nothing we—”
“Nu-huh, there is,” he interrupted. “We’s gotta talk to the people tonight.”
“We have to talk,” I amended. “What people?”
“I’m sorry, Isaac, it seems Newt overheard me and Dallas talking about the hearing in town tonight. The one where we’re going to try to get Loki back,” Nolan explained. “But you guys don’t need to go,” he quickly added. “You’re welcome to stay here at the house.”
The reminder that we were stuck here just made my stomach hurt even more, but I jumped on the offer and said, “If you’re sure.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to help these men get their pet back, it was that I couldn’t. We’d already had a close call by coming into such close contact with the sheriff yesterday. It’d been one of the first times since we’d left Boston that we’d interacted with any kind of law enforcement agent, and instead of just pretending like we had every right to be in Pelican Bay, Newt and I had both panicked and called even more attention to ourselves. I could only hope that Nolan and Dallas had assumed it was because of my role in taking his violin.
