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Was she second-guessing her gamble of getting pregnant when it had become clear this was only a marriage of convenience for him? That he would never offer her the part of him he’d suspected she’d been beginning to want? His heart, something he wasn’t sure he even had anymore.
Or maybe she’d realized just how far-reaching the consequences of her actions were and was balking at the prospect of becoming a queen?
Whatever it was, he thought grimly, it didn’t matter why Sofi´a was acting the way she was. Dissecting her guilt wasn’t his problem. What mattered was that she accept the reality of their situation before the explosive news of a royal heir got out, causing yet more uncertainty among the people. There could be no more blows to this monarchy.
* * *
Sofi´a stood with her hand poised on Nik’s office door, a sleepless night of decision-making behind her. She knew what she had to do. Doing it just seemed so much harder.
She pulled in a breath, knocked as Abram had told her to, then entered on Nik’s command to do so. He looked up from where he sat behind his desk, a distracted, somewhat black look on his face. When he saw it was her, he put his pen down and sat back in his chair.
“Everything all right?” she asked cautiously.
“Kala. Fine. Have you reached a decision?”
“Yes.” She shoved her hands in the pockets of the capri pants she’d found in the closet and came to stand in front of his desk. “You were right to appeal to my past in your arguments, Nik, because you know I will never abandon my child, nor will I expose them to an overdose of the pressure you were speaking of. To that end, I want to have the final say on any choices relating to our child. I want to be a hands-on mother. I don’t want nannies taking over my relationship with my child. I’ll be the one to set the schedule.”
“We will discuss that as required.”
“No.” She lifted her chin. “That is my condition for agreeing to this, Nik. As well as that I want to be able to travel frequently back to New York to check on the business as you promised. I need to be part of it.”
He nodded.
“I would also like to pursue my designing, so I would appreciate it if you would find me a space in the palace to do so. A quiet space with lots of room and good light.”
“Done.”
“As for us, I will play the role of your wife as required in public, but until we learn to understand each other, there will be no intimacy between us.”
“Define understand.”
“You need to believe me when I say I didn’t engineer this pregnancy. We need to have trust between us if we are going to be able to do this.”
He cocked his head to one side. “How am I supposed to believe a pregnancy wasn’t in your head when you suggest we forgo a condom, then all of a sudden we’re pregnant?”
Heat stained her cheeks. “I don’t know what possessed me to say that. I don’t know, I wanted that intimacy between us. But it wasn’t planned. The doctor is fairly sure it was my migraine medication that reduced the efficacy of the pills. I had no idea it would do such a thing.”
“Right.” He gave her a look as if to say he hadn’t been born yesterday. Her blood boiled. “Does it really matter at this point?” he suggested harshly. “It’s a foregone conclusion we’re having this baby.”
“Yes, it does. You want to lump me in with all the other women who have abused your trust. I won’t do it, Nik.”
He stared at her for a long moment. “My remaining celibate for the duration of our marriage is not an option.”
“Well, then I guess we have a disagreement we have to overcome, don’t we?”
“Quite.” He hit the button on the intercom to call Abram in. “We can get the ball rolling on an engagement announcement, then. The sooner the better.”
“What about the baby? It’s too early to confirm that.”
“We won’t.” His mouth curved in a sardonic twist. This is the time we’ll use to convince the people of Akathinia their king has made a last-minute, impulsive decision to pursue his happily-ever-after. A love match. We won’t confirm the baby for another few weeks, unless we have to. Abram has taken steps to ensure the confidentiality of your doctor in New York.”
Her stomach dropped. He had everything figured out. He was totally in control. And where was she? Completely at his mercy. Completely at the mercy of a palace machine that would strip her life of everything she’d built as soon as this announcement went out.
