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A fist formed in his chest. He buttoned his shirt up over it and swung a tie around his neck. His gaze drifted to Sofi´a asleep in their bed as his fingers fumbled over the knot. To feel their baby kicking last night had knocked some sense into him. Sofi´a had knocked some sense into him.
He needed to protect her and his child. He needed to protect Akathinia. Everything hinged on what he did next.
While he had been playing in the sun with Sofi´a, convincing himself he was smarter than Idas, convincing himself he could have it all, his enemy had been plotting his next move. Outsmarting him. Five men were dead because of it.
Perhaps his father had been right. Maybe there was no middle ground for a leader. Either you had complete focus on the job as his father had, to hell with the people in your life, or your distractions ruined you.
He yanked a jacket from the closet and slid it on. His emotions were too close to the surface right now. Too all over the place. He needed some distance between him and Sofi´a while he navigated this crisis. From emotions that were too strong to process.
It wasn’t difficult. His meeting went late into the night as expected. When he returned home Sofi´a was asleep. The pattern went on for two weeks as he debated the question of Carnelia at Council. Those who wanted to deal Carnelia a warning blow to show Idas Akathinia wasn’t available to take were numerous. Those who, like him, knew diplomacy was the only answer, a minority. There was no middle ground, he argued to the proponents of a warning blow. It would drag Akathinia into a war it didn’t want and they would lose without its enhanced military force in place.
On the fifteenth morning of bitterly fought debate, he used his veto power at Council to dismiss military action and announced an international peace summit would be held in Akathinia in two weeks’ time to discuss the Carnelian situation. Idas would be invited, but it would proceed regardless of whether he attended. Nik was banking on the fact the international community would have his back, particularly those powerful nations with whom Akathinia had colonial ties.
His veto in place, he dissolved the council and went home. Enough talk had happened. It was time to end this.
* * *
Dinner with Nik’s family was a painful affair. Another day of negotiations about the Carnelian situation had meant another day without Nik, and with Stella out on a date, it had been just her and the king and queen at the table. As soon as dessert was served, she excused herself and climbed the stairs to bed, exhausted and miserable.
She knew she should try to sleep. She needed the rest. But she knew she wouldn’t, so she headed instead to her studio to work.
The dress she’d been working on, a chic blue silk knee-length design, cut on the bias and forgiving for her thickening middle, beckoned from the table, pieces cut out and ready to be assembled. But the excitement she’d felt earlier for the dress didn’t spark her usual creative urge.
How could she feel inspired when her relationship with Nik was falling apart? When he had spent the past two weeks avoiding her, saying no more than a handful of words to her before he resumed working or passed out, exhausted. Only one night had he woken her to make love to her. Once he had assuaged his frustration, he had slept again, leaving her emotionally and physically distanced.
Which was what he was doing. Distancing himself from her, shutting her out. She understood he was stressed, under immense pressure, but the unraveling of all the work they’d done broke her heart. What kind of a partnership, as he liked to call it, did they have when he wouldn’t turn to her when he needed her the most? When he wasn’t there for her?
Her vision clouded over. She blinked as hot liquid stung the backs of her eyes. Outside in the glittering harbor, lit up at night, the expensive yachts hosted million-dollar parties even as Nik struggled to prevent a conflict with Carnelia. She could tell herself he was leading Akathinia through its toughest times. That she couldn’t expect them to be perfect right now. But she knew even when he figured this out, which he would, there would be another issue to take its place. And another. And he would continue to shut her out every time. Compartmentalize her.
It wasn’t enough anymore, she realized. She couldn’t settle for a partnership. She wanted more. She wanted all of him. She couldn’t spend her days waiting for him to decide he cared. She’d done that her whole life with her mother. She wouldn’t do it with him.
Desperate for a familiar voice, she picked up her cell phone and called Katharine. The call went to voice mail. She tossed the phone on the table and looked back out at the night.
