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My eyes shoot open, locked on his dark ones.
He doesn’t let up his rhythm, the only time he slows is to adjust his grip as he brings a hand down to my pussy, running his thumb over my clit.
My eyes shut as my orgasm wrecks me, stars shooting in the back of my eyelids. I scream out his name, I’m not sure how many times.
I’m panting when he follows me over the edge, losing himself inside me. Then slowly he lets me down, my legs too weak to stand so I sink to the floor in a puddle of myself.
The taste of his name still lingering on my lips.
WE’RE IN LIMBO, NO
AH AND I, somewhere in a state between trust and distrust. Neutral.
I don’t leave his house. I spent the night, after he fucked me against the front door. I even slept in his bed with his arm wrapped around me, the ring he gave me still on my finger.
But we don’t talk. We spend the time with the silence stretching between us.
What’s left to say?
“I believe you.” I blurt out.
Noah’s spoon hits the glass bowl of cereal he’s eating. He looks up to meet my eyes, his mouth still filled with a bite of Cocoa Puffs. My own cereal has turned to mush in its milky broth, staining the milk brown with the chocolate flavor and making everything wet and soggy. I push the bowl away from me.
“I believe you.” I repeat when he doesn’t respond. The words have been on the tip of my tongue since he walked away from me last night.
He swallows the bite of cereal in his mouth and brings the napkin to his lips, wiping himself off and folding it neatly before he responds. “What changed?”
“Nothing,” I answer quickly. “I asked you a question and you answered. I believe you.”
He nods his head and mulls over my statement. His dark hair is unruly. He needs a trim to keep the messy curls from dropping onto his forehead. As if he notices me scrutinizing his hair, he sweeps a hand through it, pressing it all back. “I wish you never doubted me.” He says.
I suck my bottom lip in between my teeth. It’s not that I ever doubted him, per se. “I just… I don’t know what to think any more. It’s a lot.”
He nods his head, bringing another bite of cereal to his lips. “I get that.” He says between bites. “But you need to tell me stuff like that. Trust me, hmm?”
I open my mouth to respond, to repeat that I do trust him, but the ringing of my phone interrupts me.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Mikaela.” My mother's voice rushes through the speaker. Suddenly the events of yesterday come crashing back to me.
The charges were dropped.
I made a public statement defending Noah. Something that directly conflicts with their story.
“Mom, I’m so sorry.” The words leave my lips hastily.
“It’s not that.” She cuts my apology short. “I need to show you something, can you meet me?”
My eyes glance up to Noah. He’s been controlling lately. Dragging me here and not letting me leave. But he can’t control me, and I’m allowed to see my family. I’m a grown adult.
“Yeah,” I tell her. “Where?”
“The coffee shop that…” She trails off, choking on her words. “The one that Auden liked.”
It’s funny how a simple sentence, a location can elicit so many memories. Coffee dates with my sister come flooding back to me. We loved that damn café. They made pumpkin spice lattes in the fall and had high wooden shelves lined with books. Auden and I could spend hours there on a Saturday. Me with a book in my hands and Auden with her homework. Both of us sipping lattes and people watching.
I think I liked her the most in that coffee shop, in some weird way. Those moments with her were fun. That’s how I remember my sister, curled up in a leather wingback chair, ankles crossed beneath her, and her pin-straight auburn hair falling in her face.
