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He steps closer to Liam, puffing his chest in show of dominance. “No Irish allowed.”
“Fine.” Liam huffs. “I’ll wait here, just take Gemma to her brother, hmm?” He drops down into one of the hospital waiting chairs, throwing his hands up again to signal he’s no threat.
He’s not, I believe that.
I don’t think Liam would ever intentionally hurt me. That may be naive to think about a man I’ve known for such a short time, a man who is a known killer. But I feel like I’ve known him forever.
It feels like Liam has always been in my life.
I give him a cautious smile before walking past Andrew and his asshole partner. There’s a handful of Capos already there when I walk back. I’m later than everyone else from sitting in Liam’s car letting the nausea that the shooting caused pass.
“Hey.” Annie, Gio’s new girlfriend, is leaving the room when she sees me. She stops, wrapping an arm around my frame and pulling me into her embrace. “I’m sorry,” she says. She pulls back, keeping her hands on my shoulder as she studies my eyes.
I imagine they look dark and sad. That’s how I’m feeling now. The darkness is looming trying to get a hold of me again and drag me back under. It takes every bit of energy I have to not fall back into that hole.
You have people to live for.
I have to remind myself of this fact repeatedly.
Annie looks effortlessly pretty even in a plain t-shirt and jeans with her blonde waves tied up in a ponytail. “You need anything?” she asks me.
I suck in a gulp of air. “Is Gio in there?” I ask. He was angry, really fucking angry back at the house. I guess I can’t blame him, but I also couldn’t let him take it out on Liam who was only here to help us.
“Yeah.” She gives me a soft smile. “He’s in there. Gian’s still knocked out.” She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth nervously looking back at the door to Gian’s room. “You want me to go in there with you?”
I shake my head, “No. I can do this.”
She gives me a sympathetic look. “He loves you, ya know?” she says. “They both do. They’re jerks, yeah, but they just don’t know any other way to show their love.” She gives me another quick hug. “Let me know if you need anything.”
She walks off and I see someone from Gio’s crew get up and follow her. She’s too good for him, I think.
Gian’s asleep, like Annie said, and Gio is sitting in one of the chairs with his gaze out the window. He doesn’t turn or look at me when I enter. I walk cautiously over to Gian, as if my steps may be the thing that kills him.
It’s a scary sight seeing my big brother in this vulnerable position. His eyes are shut and he’s tucked in under a hospital blanket but I can see the gauze and bandages covering his upper right shoulder and chest where the bullet must have hit him. He’s hooked up to an IV and another machine that beeps every few seconds, the sound making anxiety rise within me.
Hospitals in general make me nervous.
We never saw my mom like this. She was shot seven times, killed instantly. I wonder what it felt like for her, if she was scared or in pain.
I wonder what her last thought was before she died.
Sometimes I think it’s better that we didn’t have these final moments to cry over her dying body in a hospital, instead we all sat in the waiting room staring at a doctor who told us she was dead on arrival.
I don’t want Gian to die.
I especially don’t want him to die thinking I hate him. I’m angry at him, sure, I probably won’t ever forgive his actions, but I don’t hate him. I reach out, grazing my hand against his stubble covered jaw.
“I’m sorry, big brother.” I whisper. “Please don’t leave me yet.”
“Gemma.” Gio’s voice rings out behind me. When I turn to meet his gaze his eyes are glassy, I imagine mine are as well. “He’s gonna be okay.” He tells me, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
I nod silently, tugging my lip between my teeth nervously. “It’s okay.”
Gio stands from his chair walking toward me and wrapping me into his strong arms. “It’s not.” He whispers.
The tears come then, viciously they flow from my eyes coating my cheeks. I’m not sure how long I’ve been holding them in but the floodgates have opened now.
“He did this, ya know?” Gio says solemnly. “Him, his family, they’re all the same.
