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He regarded me seriously, those chocolate eyes that I loved so much boring into mine with such an intensity it made my heart flutter.
“Say it again,” he said after a moment, his voice rough with emotion.
My eyebrows furrowed. “Say what?”
“You know what. Say it, Juliette. Tell me.”
I smiled and let out a shaky breath, so lost in love, lost in Logan, that I wasn’t sure I’d ever find my way back. I wasn’t sure I wanted to. Leaning up, I kissed the tip of his nose and then pressed my lips softly to his, lingering there for a moment with his bottom lip tucked between both of mine.
“I love you,” I whispered against his mouth. “I love you more than my little house, Logan. I love you more than my isolation. I love you more than I love myself and I never thought I’d feel that way about anyone. But I do. I love you and I’ll never stop.”
He smiled, and I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes, but soon he was blinking and they were gone. He turned, cupping my face between his hands and swiping his thumbs under my eyes. I didn’t even realize I’d started crying as I spoke the most brutally honest words I’d ever said.
“You know,” he started and then shook his head. “I never thought I’d feel this way about anyone. I never thought I’d want to share a life with anyone, let alone share a life with my uptight neighbor with the fiery hair and perpetual frown. You have turned my whole fucking world upside down, J. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m not letting you go now. Me and you? We make a good goddamn team and I’ll be damned if I’m about to let that slip away now that we finally have a chance at normalcy. I love you, Juliette. So fucking much. I always have.”
“Always have?”
“Always will.”
Chapter 21
“A re you sure this is a good idea?” I asked a few days later as Logan and I walked up the walkway in front his parents’ house. It was Christmas Day- well, technically Christmas night- and, considering I hadn’t exactly left on good terms with the Ashford clan, I didn’t think I’d be a welcome guest at their annual Ashford Christmas bash.
He placed a still bruised hand on the small of my back and guided me up the front steps with a low chuckle. “Trust me, I want to be here about as much as you do. But my dad asked me to be here, and after what happened the other night, I don’t want to leave things unsaid with anyone. Including my dysfunctional family.”
I glanced over at him and smiled. Logan not avoiding his family was a huge step and I had to admit that honesty looked good on Logan, as did the clothes he was wearing. Black slacks, a black button down and a burgundy tie had my boyfriend looking like some sort of dangerous, don’t-fuck-with-me man and it was definitely turning me on.
We’d spent the last few days giving our statements to BPD, visiting Nicole in the hospital and visiting Ronald at home. He’d been in a foul mood then, having just found that he was on desk duty until he got the all clear from his doctor. His wife, God bless her, was patient and kind, but even she lost her temper with him once or twice.
As for Conlon, we didn’t know much, but with my testimony paired with Nicole’s, things weren’t looking good for him. As well as a charge for domestic abuse, Conlon was also being charged with kidnapping and two counts of attempted murder. Needless to say, he’d be going away for a long, long time and he wouldn’t be hurting anyone ever again. Nicole was finally free of the prison Conlon had confined her to. She was getting the fresh start she always wanted but didn’t know how to get. After a few more days of psychiatric help, Logan and I would be helping her figure out a plan for what to do next and, until then, she’d be staying at Logan’s.
I finally started sleeping in my own bed again, much to Logan’s dismay. We- I- came to the decision that I wouldn’t be moving in with Logan. We had, after all, only begun our relationship a little while ago. Everything was new and I didn’t want to move too fast. Not while we had time to figure everything out and move slow. I was only three houses down and we were still spending our free time together. But the only reason I was staying with Logan in the first place was because Conlon was a wild card and making threats against me. Now that he was behind bars, well, I didn’t need the protection anymore.
In an alternate universe, Logan and I were living together with a bevy of pets and enjoying our happily ever after.
Realistically, however, our relationship was brand spanking new and I was determined not to rush into things. No matter how much I loved him. No matter how much I loved sleeping in that big comfy bed. Right now, sleeping in my own bed under my own roof was the best decision for both of us. But that didn’t mean Logan hadn’t slept in my bed already once or twice, even though we technically didn’t get much “sleep”.
I hadn’t seen or spoken to anyone in his family since our last visit to his parents’ place and my stomach was in knots as we entered the way too familiar foyer. The house was filled with people dressed up and everyone had a drink in their hand. I could definitely use a stiff drink right about now, I thought and then grimaced. I hoped and prayed that tonight wouldn’t be awful. I was always so lonely around the holidays, this was the first one since Gran’s death that I didn’t feel completely alone.
“You made it!” Abby appeared next to us with a tentative smile on her face. She looked nervous, like she didn’t know where she stood with her brother, or with me.
I was in the same boat, convinced that Abby hated me for not telling her the truth about what was going on with Logan. “Hi…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say.
Her blue eyes darted down to Logan’s left hand. “Is that… is that a cane? Are you okay?”
He had been so reluctant to use his cane tonight, but his arthritis was acting up in a bad way and he needed it. He was sore, aching, could barely stand up this morning. It had taken some convincing, but Logan finally agreed to use his cane tonight. He’d been honest with his family about everything else, he needed to be honest about this too.
“I’m fine.” Logan nodded his reassurance. “Really. I need it from time to time, and tonight just so happens to be one of those times.”
She hesitated for a second and then nodded, leaning forward and kissing his cheek lightly, wiping her lipstick away after. “Merry Christmas. Let’s go get drinks for you guys.”
We followed her through the throng of people that congregated in the large room, moving into the sprawling kitchen that looked as though it was never used. “Mom’s already drunk,” she said over her shoulder as she poured us two hearty glasses of wine.
“Of course she is.”
Abby turned to face us and tapped a finger against her own glass. “But, Lo… um, I’m pretty sure Robbie wanted to talk to you.”
I saw him hesitate for the briefest of moments before nodding. He leaned down and kissed my temple, smoothed a hand over my hair and then hobbled off, leaning on his cane. I watched him go, proud that he’d been brave enough to come here tonight, brutally honest about the disease that would plague him for the rest of his life. He was facing that head on, and I was damn proud to be by his side.
