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Did you ever think that maybe you don’t want to get over what happened? His words played back over and over in my head as I marched down the sidewalk.
Didn’t want to get over it? Of course I wanted to get over it! This man had been ruling my life for the better part of a year and all I wanted to do was move past it. I wanted to live my life to the fullest and not be afraid of my own goddamn shadow. I wanted to be over all of it but I couldn’t do that knowing that my stalker, the real stalker, was still on the loose.
I wasn’t mad at Knox for being honest with me. I always prided myself on the fact that we were open and honest abou
t the important things. But to say I didn’t want to get over it really threw me off. He didn’t know what I went through or understand the fear that was permanently instilled me because of what happened. I wasn’t the same person I used to be and I couldn’t just let things roll off my shoulders. He may have found his own inner peace with boxing and running the gym, but until I put that psycho behind bars I couldn’t find mine.
My phone was vibrating in my pocket but I ignored it. The last thing I wanted to do was continue an argument over the phone. No, all I wanted to do was go to my brother’s, have a very large glass of wine and think things through. I’d call him in the morning and we’d hash things out. Because I loved Knox. Truly, head over heels let’s share a welcome mat kind of love. He was my person.
The last few months may have made my anxiety skyrocket, but it really taught me what was important and that was Knox, my family and my friends. I realized now that I couldn’t lose him again. As long as we figured our own problems out we could muddle through the rest of the bullshit together.
But I was still pissed.
I gritted my teeth as I stomped up the sand covered pavement, only taking notice of Dr. Van Sant’s Porsche when I reached the front door. What was he doing here? And on a Sunday, too.
I slowly opened the door and tiptoed inside. It was completely silent and the central air was humming. The dusky, late afternoon sky illuminated the living room and shadows bounced off the floor and walls. It was pretty but in an oddly spooky way.
“Robbie?” I called up the stairs. At the lack of response I made my way around the house, stopping in the kitchen to peer out onto the back deck.
“Dr. Van Sant?” I asked as I opened the squeaky porch door, stepping outside.
Dr. Van Sant was seated in one of the Adirondack chairs watching the sunset. He turned to me and smiled, jerking his chin in my direction. “There you are! Robert went out looking for you a little while ago and asked me to wait here. Your boyfriend called when you didn’t pick up your phone and said he was worried. Something about some sort of fight? And how many times have I told you to call me Henry?” He arched an eyebrow at me.
I felt very uncomfortable with both my brother and shrink knowing I was in a lovers’ spat, and the way Henry was looking at me like I was about to run was very off putting.
“Uh, yeah…” I trailed off as he stood, stretching and crossing his arms over his chest. “It was just an argument. No big deal, I just wanted to come home and cool off.”
His face broke into a huge grin and there was a slight twinkle in his eye. “Taking my advice, Abby?”
I nodded my head.
“Coping skills are very important and I think you see that now,” he said and moved towards me a bit. He was so tall and broad that the way he was moving felt almost predatory. Not in the fun, carefree way that Knox did, grabbing me around the waist and hauling me back to bed. No, he was looking at me like he was… hungry.
It took a moment for my brain to register that I was scared. I was actually scared of my own shrink.
“Just trying to act my age,” I laughed and trailed off when he didn’t even crack a smile.
“Abby…” he started and clasped his hands behind his back. “There’s no doubt in my mind that you act your age. You’re a beautiful, smart, capable young woman. I admire that.” He flashed a quick smile.
“Yeah, so… I’m going to call Robbie and let him know I’m home. I’ll be right back,”
I turned on my heel and walked back inside, moving through the kitchen and taking post by the stairs, looking over my shoulder to see if Henry stayed outside.
He did.
I quickly scrolled through my phone and took note of the multiple missed calls I had from Knox and Robbie, then saw that there was a voicemail from Knox’s friend, Alex. Wishing I hadn't let my curiosity get the best of me, I knew I should immediately call my brother. But I needed to know what was on that voicemail. It could have been about my stalker and any information would be helpful.
I pressed the phone to my ear and chewed my thumbnail, glancing over my shoulder again. I could see Henry pacing back and forth as ran his hands through his hair. Was he acting paranoid or was I just paranoid?
“Abby, it’s Alex. Listen, I tried to call Knox but he didn’t pick up. My friend in the city said something about a guy who came in to order a flower delivery almost every day for close to six months. He was some sketchy guy; well dressed and always looking over his shoulder, his phone was constantly in his hand. My guy really tried but he couldn’t get a name, I’m sorry. All he said was the guy had dark hair and a cleft chin. Well, actually, he called it a butt chin, but that’s not the point. I guess he always paid with cash, never a card. I don’t know if that rings a bell. I’m home all night, so if there’s anything I can do give me a call. Be safe, gorgeous.”
My heart plummeted to my stomach and I gripped the banister for support. No. No. This couldn’t be real. It was some ugly nightmare that I needed to wake up from.
I knew who my stalker was.
Henry Van Sant.
The porch door- who ever thought I’d be thankful for squeaky hinges?- squeaked and I turned around, pulse racing.
