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“Stop freaking out. The only thing that you can do now is talk to him. Tell him what you want but don’t be surprised if he wants to let go of the relationship altogether.”
“I just want to scream! I’m getting exactly what I signed up for and now I’m not happy with it.”
“Well, this is you. You’re never satisfied.” Jaime joked.
“You suck.”
“Apparently you suck too…and pretty damned good.”
I laughed, “I shouldn’t have told you that part.”
“Why not? That was the best part.”
“I’ll never tell you again.” I laughed.
“Aww, don’t be like that.”
“Too late, now let’s get back to work before I have to karate chop Georgia. I don’t feel like hearing her mouth today.”
*
I went home after work and I couldn’t wait to get to my bed. I needed to do homework, but my homework would have to wait. I stepped into the apartment and Jessica was sitting on the couch.
“Well hello, stranger.” Jessica said, “Come on, sit on the couch and tell me all about your weekend.”
“I’m really not in the mood.”
“I don’t care. Come on and tell me anyway. You can even lay your tired little head in my lap.”
I took her up on her offer. I laid across the couch and rested my head in her lap. She ran her fingers through my hair and I remembered why I loved her so much. We were affectionate with each other. Some people thought it was weird but I didn’t care.
“The weekend was amazing. The event went a lot like you said that it would. I did a good job of speaking to the people there and then he took me to the Beyoncé concert.”
“Get the hell out of here! I’m so jealous!”
“You should be.” I laughed.
“Then why are you looking all sad?”
I wondered if I should tell her why I was feeling so down. I already knew everything that she had to say. But I wanted to hear more from her. “Jessica, how can you feel so happy and proud about what you’re doing? I’m not dissing you; I just need to know how you can do this every day.”
“It’s okay. I just believe that these old perverts deserved to be taken for their cash. They are trying to take advantage of young women and so we take advantage of them. It’s all a game baby.”
“Well, Vince isn’t an old pervert. He’s a really nice man and so he shouldn’t be treated that way.”
“Listen, you know how I’ve been messed around by men. I’ve had men take advantage of me, cheat on me and hit me. This is the only way that I want to deal with men. If they don’t have anything of real monetary value to give to me, then I don’t have time for them.”
“Have you thought that maybe you need to stop treating them all the same? Maybe your life is a self-fulfilling prophesy. I think that you should try to find love and happiness with someone. I may not love Vince yet but being with him makes me happy.”
“We’re too young to be thinking about this shit.”
“I’m just saying that no amount of money and gifts can ever make up for true happiness and being with someone you have a real connection with.”
“I see your point. I wish that I had your view of the world chica but I don’t. I’ve been through too much and I’ve seen too much. Maybe years down the line; I’ll be ready. But right now I’m just fine.”
“I don’t want you to be disappointed in me but the next time I see Vince, I’m going to tell him how I really feel. He needs to know that I want something genuine or I don’t want anything at all. I don’t want to be given money to see him anymore. It makes me feel terrible and hopefully he’ll see things the way that I do.”
“Why can’t you just listen to me? Didn’t I tell you not to fall in love? I should’ve known better.” she sighed. “Follow your heart baby, but please don’t count on him being with you. Men like him take what they want and they give nothing in return but money and gifts. It’s usually all that they truly have to offer.”
