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"What happened?"
"Well, when I was at my very most miserable—and I mean miserable, you should have seen me with my braces and dork-o-rama glasses—"
Marah giggled.
"I got up and went to school. "
"And?"
"And Aunt Tully was waiting at the bus stop. She was the coolest-looking girl Id ever seen. I figured shed never want to be friends with me. But you know what I found out?"
"What?"
"Inside, where it counts, she was as scared and lonely as I was. We became best friends that year. Real friends. The kind that dont purposely hurt your feelings or stop liking you for no reason. "
"How do you make friends like that?"
"Thats the hard part, Marah. To make real friends you have to put yourself out there. Sometimes people will let you down—girls can be really mean to each other—but you cant let that stop you. If you get hurt, you just pick yourself up, dust off your feelings, and try again. Somewhere in your class is the girl who will be friends with you all through high school. I promise. You just have to find her. "
Marah frowned at that, thinking.
The waitress delivered their meals, left the bill, and walked away.
Before she took a bite of her cheeseburger, Marah said, "Emilys nice. "
Kate had hoped Marah would remember that. She and Emily had been inseparable in grade school but had drifted apart in recent years. "Yes, she is. "
Kate saw her daughter finally smile, and it lit Kate up inside, that tiny change. They talked about little things through lunch, mostly fashions, about which Marah already obsessed and Kate knew next to nothing. When shed paid the bill and they were ready to leave, Kate said, "Theres one more thing. " She reached into her handbag and pulled out a small wrapped package. "This is for you. "
Marah tore off the shimmery paper, revealing the paperback book that had been beneath it.
"The Hobbit," Marah said, looking up.
"In that year when I had no friends, I wasnt completely alone. I had books to keep me company, and that is the start of one of my favorite stories of all time. I must have read The Lord of the Rings ten times in my life. I dont think youre quite ready for The Hobbit yet, but someday soon, maybe in a few years, something will happen to hurt your feelings again. Maybe youll feel alone with your sadness, not ready to share it with me or Daddy, and if that happens, youll remember this book on your nightstand. You can read it then, let it take you away. It sounds silly, but it really helped me when I was thirteen. "
Marah looked slightly confused by the receipt of a gift she was too young to enjoy, but she said, "Thank you," anyway.
Kate stared at her daughter for just a moment longer, feeling a pinch in her chest. It was going by so fast, these baby/little girl years were almost gone.
"I love you, Mommy," Marah said.
To the world at large, perhaps this was an ordinary moment in an ordinary day, but to Kate it was extraordinary. This was the reason shed chosen to stay home instead of work. She judged the meaning of her life in nanoseconds, perhaps, but she wouldnt trade this instant for anything. "I love you, too. Thats why were playing hooky for the rest of the day. Were going to go to a matinee of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. "
Marah slid out of the booth, grinning. "Youre the best mommy ever. "
Kate laughed. "I just hope you remember that when youre a teenager. "
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Tully remembered the years by the stories she covered. In 2002, she vacationed in Europe, St. Barts, and Thailand. She went to the Oscars, won an Emmy, graced the cover of People magazine, and redecorated her apartment, but none of that stayed with her. What she remembered were the stories. Shed covered the launch of Operation Anaconda against the Taliban, the escalating violence in the region, the trial of Milosevic for crimes against humanity, and the start of the war against Iraq.
By the spring of 2003, she was exhausted, worn down by the violence. When she finally returned home, it wasnt much better. Everywhere she went she was in a crowd, and nowhere did she feel more isolated than in a group of people who fawned over her, and sucked up to her, but didnt really know her.
Although no one who watched her on television would notice it, she was quietly coming undone. Grant hadnt called her in almost four months, and the last time theyd spoken before that it hadnt gone well.
I just dont want what you want, love, hed said, not even bothering to look sad when he said it.
And what is that? shed snapped back, surprised to feel tears sting her eyes.
