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The car engine started, purred.
"Do you know where were going?" Johnny asked the driver.
"The tickets are in the pocket across from you, sir. "
Johnny reached for the envelope, opened it. "Kauai," he said.
It was where theyd gone on their honeymoon. Kate closed her eyes, picturing the swaying palm trees and pinkish sand of Anini Beach.
"No fair going to sleep," Johnny said.
"Im not sleeping. " She twisted around, draped herself across his lap. "Thanks for helping Tully to kidnap me. "
"Ive been worried about you. "
"Ive been worried about me, too. But I feel better now. "
"How much better?"
She glanced at the open window that separated them from the driver. "Close the window and Ill show you. "
"Are we talking sex?"
"Were talking sex," she said, unbuttoning his shirt. "But if youd hit the damn button, wed be doing more than talking. "
He smiled slowly. "Oh, Ill hit it. "
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Kate and Johnny returned home, rested and refreshed, on the night before the big broadcast. The next morning, Kate woke up at five oclock to go to the bathroom and found it impossible to go back to sleep.
The house was quiet and dark. She didnt bother turning on lights as she went from room to room, picking up toys and putting them away. She still couldnt quite believe today was going to happen. Shed waited so long, and prayed so hard, for a change in her relationship with Marah that shed almost given up hope. Tully, and this program, had given it back to her. Even Johnny seemed optimistic. Hed done as Tully asked—or demanded, actually—and relinquished control over the segment. For this one broadcast, he was going to be simply an audience member, a father supporting his family.
In the bathroom, after shed taken a shower and gotten dressed, Kate stared at herself in the mirror, trying not to notice the lines that had begun to collect in the corners of her eyes as she practiced what she would say. "Thats right, Tully. Ive given up my career to be an at-home mom. Frankly, I think it would have been easier to work. "
The audience would laugh at that.
"I still want to be a writer someday, but its so hard to balance work and motherhood. And Marah needs me more now than she did as a toddler. Everyone talks about the terrible twos, but in my house, its the terrible teens. I miss the days when I could put her in a playpen and know that she was safe. "
A murmur of agreement would certainly follow that remark.
She went downstairs, made breakfast for everyone, and set it out on the table. The boys were down the stairs in record time, clambering over each other in their quest for the perfect chair.
When Marah came downstairs, clearly excited for the taping, Kate couldnt contain her excitement.
This was going to work. She knew it.
"Stop grinning, Mom. Youre creeping me out," Marah said, pouring milk into her oatmeal bowl and carrying it to the table.
"Leave your mom alone," Johnny said, walking past her. He paused behind Kate, squeezed her shoulders, and kissed the back of her neck. "You look gorgeous. "
She turned and put her arms around him, gazing into his eyes. "Im glad youre going to be my husband today and not her producer. I need you in the audience. "
"Dont thank me. Tully pushed me completely on the outside. No one on-set is allowed to tell me anything or show me a script. Tully wants me to be surprised. "
From that moment on, the day flew forward like the Millennium Falcon in hyperspace. It wasnt until they were on the ferry, crossing the bay, that she started to get nervous.
The audience would laugh at her, say she should have done more with her life, been more.
