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The first thing that happened at the police station was the girls were separated.
"Someone will come talk to you," Officer Dan said, guiding Tully into a room at the end of the hall.
A gunmetal-gray desk and two chairs sat forlornly beneath a bright hanging lightbulb. The walls were a gross green color and the floor was plain bumpy cement. There was a sad, faded stink to the place, a combination of sweat and piss, and old spilled coffee.
The entire left wall was a mirror.
All it took was one episode of Starsky and Hutch to know that it was really a window.
She wondered if the social worker was on the other side of it yet, shaking her head in disappointment, saying, That fine family wont want her now, or the lawyer, who wouldnt know what to say.
Or the Mularkeys.
At that, she made a little sound of horror. How could she have been so stupid? The Mularkeys had liked her until tonight, and now shed gone and thrown that all away, and for what? Because shed been depressed by her moms rejection? By now she ought to be used to that. When had it ever been any other way?
"I wont be stupid again," she said, looking right at the mirror. "If someone would give me another chance, Id be good. "
After that, she waited for someone to burst in for her, maybe holding handcuffs, but the minutes just ticked by in smelly silence. She moved the black plastic chair to one corner and sat down.
I knew better.
She closed her eyes, thinking the same thing over and over again. Along with that thought, running alongside it like some shadow forming in the twilight was its twin: Will you be a good friend to Katie?
"How could I be so stupid?" This time Tully didnt even glance at the mirror. There was no one behind there. Who would be looking at her anyway, the kid no one wanted?
Across the room, the doorknob twisted, turned.
Tully tensed. Her fingers bit into her thighs.
Be good, Tully. Agree with everything they say. Foster care is better than juvenile hall.
The door opened and Mrs. Mularkey walked into the room. In a washed-out floral dress and worn white Keds, she looked tired and poorly put together, as if shed been wakened in the middle of the night and dressed in whatever she could find in the dark.
Which, of course, was exactly what had happened.
Mrs. Mularkey reached into her dress pocket for her cigarettes. Finding one, she lit up. Through the swirling smoke, she studied Tully. Sadness and disappointment emanated from her, as visible as the smoke.
Shame overwhelmed Tully. Here was one of the very few people who had ever believed in her, and shed let Mrs. M. down. "Hows Kate?"
Mrs. Mularkey exhaled smoke. "Bud took her home. I dont expect shell leave the house again for a good long while. "
"Oh. " Tully squirmed uncomfortably. Her every blemish was on view, she was sure of it, from the lies shed told to the secrets shed kept to the tears shed cried. Mrs. M. saw it all.
And she didnt like what she saw.
Tully could hardly blame her. "I know I let you down. "
"Yes, you did. " Mrs. Mularkey pulled a chair away from the table and sat down in front of Tully. "They want to send you to juvenile hall. "
Tully looked down at her own hands, unable to stand the disappointment she saw on Mrs. M. s face. "The foster family wont want me now. "
"I understand your mother refused to take custody of you. "
"Big surprise there. " Tully heard the way her voice cracked on that. She knew it revealed how hurt shed been, but there was no way to hide it. Not from Mrs. M.
"Katie thinks they can find another family for you to live with. "
"Yeah, well, Katie lives in a different world than I do. "
