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“Tully,” he says, and I can tell by the tone of his voice that word of my departure has reached him. “I should have warned you. ”
“I’m sorry, Fred,” I say.
“Don’t be. ”
“Thanks, Fred,” I say. I am about to do more, maybe even grovel a little, when I pass a Barnes & Noble bookstore. The book in the window catches my eye.
I stop dead. Of course. I should have thought of this before. “I have to go, Fred. Thanks again. ” Before he has even answered, I hang up. The Xanax is making me light-headed. So much so that it takes several tries to call my agent.
“George,” I snap when he finally answers. “Guess where I am?”
“Well, you’re not cohosting a low-rent TV show on an also-ran local station. ”
“You heard about that?”
He sighs. “I heard. You should vet these choices with me, Tully. ”
“Forget Kooky Kendra, who’s an idiot. Guess where I am?”
“Where?”
“Outside a bookstore. ”
“And I care, why?”
“Because I’m looking at Barbara Walters’s new memoir, Audition. It’s in stores now. If I remember correctly, she got five million for it. And DeGeneres scored a huge deal. Hell, didn’t she get a million for her book of essays?” This may be the best idea I’ve ever had. “I want a book deal. ”
“Have you written any pages of a memoir?”
“No. But how hard can it be? I’ll start tonight. What do you say?”
George says nothing for so long, I prompt him again. “Well?”
He sighs. “Let me throw out a line and see if anyone bites. But let me ask you this, Tully: Are you sure about this? You’ve got some dark things in your past. ”
“I’m sure, George. Find me a deal. ”
* * *
How hard can it be? I am a journalist. I’ll write the story of my life. It will be a bestseller—inspirational and heartfelt.
By the time I get home, I am excited for the first time in forever. I change out of my black suit and put on sweats and pull out my laptop. Then I curl up on my sofa with a cup of tea and begin. I type: Second Act.
Then I scroll down, indent for the paragraph, and stare at the blank screen.
Maybe the title is a problem.
I stare at the blank screen for a while longer. A long while, long enough to decide that tea is the problem. Maybe wine will help.
I pour myself a glass and return to the sofa.
The blank screen again.
I push the laptop aside and check my watch. I have been “writing” for hours and have nothing to show for it. That depresses me, but I push it aside.
Research.
Any writer has to begin with research. I know that from my days in journalism. Once I was a cub reporter. I know about digging for a story.
