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She squeezed her eyes shut at the terrifying realization. It washed through her like ice water, left her chilled and in need of warmth. It was all an illusion.
Or was it?
Remember Kelly, she told herself for the thousandth time, but even those words didn't warm her anymore, didn't give her the armor she needed to protect herself from Killian and the gentleness of his touch.
She stared at him across the fire. He was stretched out, with one leg bent, one arm dangling across his knee. His eyes were fixed on her, only her, and she felt suddenly as if he saw everything she tried so hard to hide: the shadowed secrets in her eyes, the fear and uncertainty and confusion in her heart. Of course he'd seen her shiver. A nothing, lightning-fast shudder, but he'd seen it ...
You're safe now.
The words seduced her again, stripped away her courage and left her weak and vulnerable. She stared into his eyes and tried to tell herself that he was lying, that he hadn't meant it, but she couldn't find a lie in his gaze. All she saw was caring and concern, and it made her remember his words again.
And that touch. It was nothing, she told herself. Just a meaningless press of one hand to another. But it had sparked so many unexpected responses in her, had made her snuggle close to him and feel the warmth of his body against her breasts.
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Heat sprang into her cheeks at the remembrance, her heartbeat sped up. The truth came at her hard, reminding her with humiliating clarity why she was suddenly so afraid of him. For an instant there, when she'd been holding him close, she'd felt a flash of honest-to-God desire. Not the ordinary willingness to have sex that she'd felt in the past, but something ... more.
She looked away quickly, unwilling to meet his gaze. The glistening surface of the pond caught her eye, reflected the starlight through the shadowy line of the trees. Brilliant, blue-white moonlight gave the area an ethereal, otherworldly glow. Water.
That's what she needed, she realized suddenly. The nineteenth-century equivalent of a cold shower. She needed to get away from him, submerge herself in cold water and cleanse the weakness from her soul. She lurched to her feet. "I'm going for a swim."
Before he could say a word, she raced across the campsite and through the trees. At the edge of the pond, she stopped and glanced back.
He was a shadow alongside the fire, his cigarette a bright red glow suspended in the darkness.
He hadn't followed her.
Lainie let out her breath in a relieved sigh and looked down at the pond. It was a pool-sized piece of glass studded with starlight. Moonlight edged it, curled around and above it, sliced through the shadowy canopy of trees.
She stripped quickly down to her panties and bra and touched her big toe to the water. It felt cool and welcoming after the heat of the day. Smiling, she walked into the water.
The pond was shallow, no more than six feet deep. She ducked under the surface and swam to the other side, where a ring of huge stones bordered the edge.
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Stretching her arms out along the rocks, she floated on the water, eyes closed.
Cool breezes skidded across her moist face and caressed her nipples. The water lapped gently against her thighs, tickled her toes. Overhead, the leaves chattered softly among themselves.
She focused on the pure physical pleasure of the moment, letting the fear seep from her mind.
Five days, she thought sleepily. Just five more days and she'd be at the Rock .. . and home.
She shouldn't have let Killian get to her. It was stupid. She merely had to remain strong for five days, and then this nightmare would be over.
"Over." She whispered the word, taking strength from it. She could survive five days with Killian. So what if he aroused some surprising emotions in her? She could fight that as long as she stayed alert, stayed away from him.
As long as she didn't touch him or let him touch her.
And how hard could that be? She had spent a lifetime not touching people. Certainly she could keep her distance from Killian for less than a week.
A small, satisfied smile curved her lips. She could do it. Sure, she could. All she had to do was stay away from him.
"I thought you might like some soap."
Killian's voice cut through the silence, brought her jerking upright. She immediately plunged beneath the surface and stared at him. "G-Get out of here."
He moved toward her. He was a tall, broad-shouldered shadow, backlit by the bluish light of the moon. His footsteps crunched toward her, slow and steady. At the edge of the water, he crouched down. She heard the cracking snap of his knees.
